Fur-quent fliers: Here’s still another Christmas tip...
Fur-quent fliers: Here’s still another Christmas tip from jolly old Only in L.A.--Carnival Air Lines, which flies between Miami and L.A., has instituted a frequent flier program for pets. For every 10 round trips, the critter receives the 11th for free--a savings of $90.
“The pet also gets its picture taken with our PR person, Gabriel Gabor,” said spokeswoman Juanita O’Connell.
“Is Gabriel any relation to Zsa Zsa?” we inquired, desperately wanting to liven up this item.
“No,” she said. Then she added: “You must be from L.A. to be asking that.”
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Seasons’ Jailings The recent release of con man Barry Minkow from prison brought back treasured memories for us. It was six years ago that we published our all-time favorite Christmas card--one that Minkow sent to the federal prosecutors who helped bring about his conviction on 57 counts of fraud.
“I wouldn’t of wanted anyone else up there making me look soooo bad,” rhapsodized the former carpet cleaning whiz to James Asperger and Gordon Greenberg.
The card was hand-delivered to the lawyers during jury deliberations because, Minkow noted in a P.S., “I’m too cheap to send this card.”
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Shopping in the ‘90s: Consulting a list, the young man began to order a one-pound box of assorted candies in the Lakewood Mall--a process that came to a preliminary halt when he was given the alarming news that there was a temporary shortage of chocolate clusters. What to do? Orders are orders. He stared at the list. Then the customer asked his mother to make a substitute choice--via his cellular phone.
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List of the Day: The Star News, a monthly magazine of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Relief Assn., delights in poking good-natured fun at personnel. Some targets in the December issue:
* A deputy who broke his hand after falling off a bicycle--a stationary bicycle. “He must have been pedaling while watching ‘Oprah’ and was cut off by ‘Donahue,’ ” the magazine said.
* One sheriff’s staffer who was asked: “Is that sweater one of those new cotton blends, Bruce?” His response: “No way, it’s acetate. I don’t wear cotton. I’m an animal lover.”
* Sgt. Ron Spear, a sheriff’s spokesman, who was interviewed by a TV newsman at the scene of a homicide in Monterey Park. Spear was surprised to hear the newsman conclude: “There you have it folks. The Sheriff’s Department is trying to tie Ron Spear to this murder.”
* A deputy who donned a special suit to withstand a K-9 attack during a demonstration for dignitaries--only to have the dog decide that it would “rather ‘mate’ with him.”
Doesn’t sound like frequent-flier material.
miscelLAny The Spaghettini Rotisserie & Grill in Seal Beach advertises its live music thusly: “Do you know anyone else who has sax six times a week?”
