Been There, Done That : ...

Squash that needy inner child. Quit calling yourself an enabler. And don’t even mention your co-dependence--unless you want to repel a mate or love interest.

No more pop-psychology self-analysis. No more blaming relationship problems on long past trauma-dramas or less-than-perfect parents (relax now, moms). None of these excuses will fly in what one expert calls “Do Something” 1995.

“Psychobabble is dead,” declares psychologist Pat Hudson, author of “Love Is a Verb,” to be published in ’95 by W.W. Norton. “Everyone is sick of the whining, sick of people saying, ‘I’m this way because my mother did this to me.’

“It’s damaged too many relationships,” says Hudson, explaining why personal responsibility is becoming “the most desired” quality for a potential mate.

Talk shows seem to be getting with the program--fewer people are getting kicks from listening to guests dish about their sex lives and neuroses, says psychologist Judith Sills, author of “Excess Baggage” (Viking Penguin, 1993).

“The pathology of the individual is so common now, it’s boring,” Sills says. “Normal is more attractive.”

Even Oprah Winfrey, one of the nation’s first TV hosts to inject self-help mantras into everyday conversations, recently implored: Enough on why we’re so messed up! Let’s do something about it.