Swallow’s Inn: A Divine Dive That Wears Its History Well

While tourists flock for miles to experience the wondrous annual migration of swallows to the San Juan Capistrano Mission, locals in the historic city escape religiously (and more frequently) to their own retreat: the Swallow’s Inn.

This little honky-tonk made headlines recently when one member of the city’s Fiesta Assn. suggested in a memo that the festival’s Hairiest Man Contest be relocated to a more “respectable” joint with higher standards. The author was forced to resign.

Since it opened in the late ‘20s as El Traguito (a Spanish play on words meaning both little swallow and little drink), the Swallow’s has known a devoted clientele of local ranchers and townsfolk. It got its present name when it changed hands in the mid-’50s. A decade later, it changed locations, across the road to its current address. It changed owners again in the mid-’70s and again two years ago.

Some “locals” actually travel from North County and beyond to be able to hang in their den. One regular treks down from Encino to dance with her long-distance sweetheart. Young Camp Pendleton Marines two-step next to senior patrons who have been frequenting the barroom for decades. Among the old timers is Kenny McMinn, a bartender at the Swallow’s since ’59 who remembers knowing of the place as a kid.

On the surface, the Swallow’s is nothing short of an interior decorator’s worst nightmare. But it’s those kind of rule-following yuppies who probably couldn’t appreciate how well this divine little dive wears its history. Layers of posters plastered to the ceiling and walls reveal glimpses of the bar’s past: Faded Western rodeo ads and Mexican bullfighting bills from the ‘50s peek through fragments of pinup girl pictures and alcohol ads dating to the ‘70s.

Tattered satin ballet slippers are laced to the antlers of a mounted deer head, and an antique tricycle dangles haphazardly from the tail of a huge fiberglass marlin that sports a bra on his nose. Weathered street signs, unwanted carnival toys, hand-patched Army jackets and salvaged pinatas are crammed into most every inch of the dimly lit interior. Even drugstore bumper stickers with dirty slogans recycled from the eighth grade are stuck randomly throughout.

The owners and regulars take pride in doing the place up just the way they like it. The Swallow’s Inn is a showcase for items too sentimental to part with, yet maybe too wacky for home.

The only space clear of bric-a-brac is the sawdust-covered wood-plank floor, where dancers do their thing most every night of the week to the live stylings of country bands. It’s not unusual to catch musicians leaving the low platform stage and moseying out onto the dance floor to whoop it up with the crowd.

The floor really kicks on weekend nights. Popular country chart hits are mixed in with classic ditties. The tunes and dancing get going at 8 on Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8:30 on Fridays and Saturdays and 4 p.m. on Sundays. A solo country artist performs every Monday starting at 6 p.m. Blues or classic rock cover bands play Tuesdays at 7 p.m.

Tuesday also is guest bartender night. Patrons with little or no experience tending bar may sign up to work for one hour. In lieu of payment, tips earned within the hour are donated to manager Cheryl Krupp for the Guest Bartender Bash she throws at the end of the year.

One thing patrons can count on is that this place is always gung-ho to party. Official parties include the annual city-sponsored chili cook-off (this March 5) in the parking lot. There’ll be live country bands, beer drinking contests and plenty of spicy chili. If that’s not enough, there’s a Mr. Hot Sauce and Ms. Chile Pepper “hot-bod” competition and a tug of war using fire hoses from the city Fire Department. With nonalcoholic beverages served, it’s the one time kids can get in on the Swallow’s legendary fun times. Proceeds go to a community aid fund.

The Swallow’s Inn kitchen is open from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Saturday and Sunday, the doors open for breakfast at 8 a.m. Entrees range from traditional eggs with home fries ($3.15) to New York steak with eggs ($6.75). For lunch and dinner, try a bowl of chili ($2.95), Cajun popper burgers ($4.10), barbecue chicken sandwiches ($5.35), New York steak sandwiches ($6.75) or smoked sausage and peppers ($5.35).

Drink prices fluctuate throughout the night. Bud and Bud Light draft sells for $1.75, and bottled beer is $2. Both prices drop 50 cents during weekday happy hours (4 to 6 p.m.) and rise to $2.75 when the bands start. A full bar offers drinks ranging in price from $3.25 to $4.25 at any hour.

This place is so sick that it’s rad.

* THE SWALLOW’S INN

* 31786 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano.

* (714) 493-3188.

* Open daily, 8 to 2 a.m.

* No cover.