VALLEY Parenting : Learning From Change : It’s important to find a good match between pupil and school. But transferring a child is not always the answer.

After a long, hard search, Bonnie Bruckheimer thought she had found the perfect educational environment for her son Keith. But by the time the boy reached first grade in the presti gious private school, she had to admit that it just wasn’t working out.

Though he struggled to keep up, Keith couldn’t meet his teacher’s tough demands. His self-confidence plummeted. And the worse he felt about himself, the more his academic performance suffered--which led to even more criticism from his teacher. Eventually, Bruckheimer said, the boy became like “a wounded bird.”

An educational therapist found that Keith was perfectly on par for his age. “But he wasn’t on par with the school,” Bruckheimer said. “It wasn’t the right place for him.”

Bruckheimer withdrew her son from the school he had attended since kindergarten. She enrolled him in Los Encinos, a small Encino private school that prides itself on meeting the needs of each student.

It turned out to be a good move. Keith, now in second grade, is thriving. He has made friends and excels in his studies. “He’s the reader in the family,” Bruckheimer said proudly. “Every night he sits down and reads a book to his 2 1/2-year-old sister.”

While no parent relishes the prospect of yanking a youngster from a familiar campus, occasionally it is in a child’s best interests to do so. Some children perform better in smaller, more family-like environments; others may benefit from the wide range of programs at larger, better-equipped schools. Some facilities are more able to cater to children’s individual needs, learning styles, abilities or interests.

There are also social reasons for trying a new school. A child who is on the outside of the “in” crowd or who hangs around with a rowdy group can make a clean start in a different environment. One 10-year-old girl, for example, was ostracized by a group of cliquish girls at an exclusive private school in the San Fernando Valley. But after switching to public school, she blossomed and quickly made friends. “In public school, there’s a greater diversity of kids and less social pressure, so the group dynamics aren’t as difficult,” said the girl’s mother, who asked that she not be identified to protect her daughter’s privacy.

But educational experts caution that changing schools is not a panacea for every academic or social woe. If children are unhappy, parents should investigate the situation before pulling the child from a facility. “The first logical step is to discuss the problem with the teacher and find out what is really going on,” said Judy Godessoff, a psychologist with the Los Angeles Unified School District. “Children are unhappy for many reasons, and some of it is a normal part of growing up. Changing the school doesn’t necessarily take away the problem.”

Parents should also ask themselves if a problem exists at all--or if they harbor overly high expectations. “Parents may compare their child with the kid down the block, who attends a different school and is reading three months faster,” Godessoff said. “Each child may be learning at their own pace and doing fine, but the parents want to enroll their child in a tough academic program that the child can’t keep up with. So the child shuts down and doesn’t perform at all.”

Parents who are certain that their child would benefit from a more challenging--or less arduous--workload are urged to consult with the child’s teacher before jumping ship. Schools are often more flexible than parents give them credit for. “Any school worth its salt--and every good teacher--is willing to sit down with parents and try to make things work,” said Chris Holabird, director of Los Encinos School. “Give the school a chance to make adjustments.”

Finding a solution--rather than running away from the situation--may be better for kids in the long run, said Holabird. “There are always going to be problems, . . . frustrations,” he said. “One of the most educational experiences a child can have is seeing a problem get addressed--then get better. By learning that problems can be dealt with and solved, a child gets a sense of control.”

But Carol Slobin believes that parents should seek a change for the better before crisis strikes. Three years ago her son Noah, then 7, brought home decent report cards and seemed reasonably content, but she felt he could benefit from less crowded classrooms and more individual attention than the neighborhood public school could provide. When a space opened up at a small, nearby private school, she grabbed it.

At first, Noah rebelled against the move. “I was afraid I would lose my friends,” he said. But after one day at the new campus, he was sold. “Can I stay at this school forever?” he asked his parents.

“My husband and I just looked at each other and said, ‘My God, we have actually done something right,’ ” said Slobin, who lives in Studio City. “Now Noah jumps up and gets out of bed in the morning to go to school. He really enjoys it. At the elementary level, there ought to be a joy in going to school.”

But not every student adjusts so easily. Making new friends, adapting to new teaching styles and learning the layout of a new campus are easier for some than others. Just compare the experiences of Greg Goodfried, 15, with his sister, Lisa, 13. Both transferred to public schools in September because the demanding workload at the college preparatory academy they had attended left them no time for sports or socializing.

From her first day at Portola Middle School in Tarzana, Lisa felt comfortable. “I was a little worried that I wouldn’t fit in, but right when I got there, these six girls I met at summer camp took me in,” she said.

Greg, on the other hand, knew only one girl on his first day at Birmingham High--and she wasn’t in any of his classes. “I felt really out of place and all alone,” he said. “It was really difficult to find new friends. . . . I definitely wanted to go back to my other school.”

Since September, Greg has found a group to hang around with, is getting used to his new instructors’ styles, and excels in all his subjects. “Every day,” he said, “it’s getting better. I’ll make it. But it’s really hard at first. If I were a parent, I don’t know if I would want to put my kids through it.”