In Search of Spiritual Renewal--for Two : Marriage: Religious retreats for couples are more popular than ever. Books, Bible study groups and videos also aim to strengthen relationships.

Jim Tidwell describes himself as a gruff guy who focused more on his mortgage business than matters of the heart. He attended church and sang in the choir, but left Bible study to his wife, Linda.

But after attending an Experiencing God Weekend for Couples in January, his life and his love for his wife have reached a new spiritual plane.

“I recommitted myself personally, not only to the Lord but to my wife,” said Tidwell, a Southern Baptist from Nashville, Tenn.

Now he reads the Bible every day with his wife, and she spends less time at her home computer and more time with him.

“We’re on a spiritual high,” Linda Tidwell said. “I have never been so excited.”

Spiritual renewal--for two--is in. These folks aren’t talking about what flowers or brand of candy they’re going to buy their spouses on Valentine’s Day. They’re going beneath the surface of superficial love into a spiritual realm that they say deepens their understanding of each other.

More than 25 years after Marriage Encounter weekends first used expressions like “God’s plan” for couples, there’s been an increase in attendance, book buying and even video viewing on how to enhance the spiritual aspect of couples’ lives.

Spouses are going away for the weekend and leaving their children behind, shutting themselves in a room with a Bible study guide or joining other couples in weekly classes to learn how they can relate to God together.

For about 15 years, the Southern Baptist Sunday School Board has sponsored Festivals of Marriage, getaway weekends that address relationship issues such as finances, romance, sexuality and communication from a Christian perspective.

But participants said the “spiritual oneness” workshop included in these marriage enrichment events was not enough. So for the first time, the board set aside three weekends in January to devote specifically to the spiritual development of couples.

Organizer Phil Waugh anticipated about 500 people attending each of the Experiencing God weekends. But the retreats drew far more--750 to 1,220 people. On one weekend, 50 couples had to be turned away because there was no more room. Those attending ranged from one couple who’d gotten married 40 minutes earlier, to another who’d been together for 52 years.

*

Likewise, FamilyLife--a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ International, which has held marriage conferences since 1976--is seeing a rise in interest. Bob Richardson, a national representative for FamilyLife, said 17,000 people attended the group’s marriage conferences last fall, a 22% increase over the previous year.

For couples who cannot manage a weekend away alone, there are books and Bible study guides they can use at home.

The Couples’ Devotional Bible ranked eighth on the January, 1995, list of best-selling Bibles in Bookstore Journal, the trade publication of the Christian Booksellers Assn. The Bible text is laced with “marriage builders,” questions that help a couple contemplate how certain verses relate to their lives.

First published in April, the couples’ Bible is already in its fifth printing.

Bill Anderson, president of the Christian Booksellers Assn., said there is a resurgence in interest among couples in devotional books that mix Scripture with additional food for thought.

Pastors, prompted by discussions with couples in premarital and marital counseling, are requesting that Christian stores carry books that can help couples spend time together with a scriptural focus--practical guides that help “a couple pull out of the fast lane, sit down together and really think about what are the priorities in their lives,” Anderson said.

Other books, such as the Homebuilders Couple Series, offer workbooks that guide couples in group study on topics such as building teamwork, expressing love and resolving conflict in marriage.

Ted and Jill LeVin use the series every Thursday, when they have 10 couples at their Eagan, Minn., home for Bible study. Special weekends away are fine, Jill LeVin said, but her group helps couples handle day-to-day issues, such as dealing with conflict and building self-esteem.

*

The process requires couples to do about 45 minutes of homework each week to prepare for their group sessions.

The Rev. Ty Willems, pastor of Christ New Testament Church in Apple Valley, Minn., said he’s seen fewer office visits from couples in groups like the LeVins’. The couples find they can work out problems together with advice from their peers.

More new books that focus on spirituality and marriage are on the way, and videos that focus on making the spiritual discussions less threatening--particularly for men--are also in the works.

And although Christian bookstores seem to have cornered the market on the subject of marriage and spirituality, similar books are starting to appear on secular shelves as well--many aimed at couples where one partner is more interested in religion.

Authors Hugh and Gayle Prather say it’s all right if one person in a couple is more actively religious than the other. But they know from experience that when the two can find a spiritual meeting ground--such as praying together after a stressful workday--it can make a huge difference in their relationship.

“When we finally made the commitment to each other, that we would not leave each other, that we would keep our family intact,” Hugh Prather said, “that’s when we began experiencing God’s presence.”