Driving on the Fore05 Freeway: Pepperdine University...

Driving on the Fore05 Freeway: Pepperdine University spokesman Jeff Bliss car-phoned us to say he came upon “another one of those ‘Only in L.A.’ moments. A guy had pulled his black Dodge Viper off the side of the road on the 405. And while he was waiting for help, he had his golf bag out of the trunk and was standing by the guard rail, practicing his golf swing.”

Needless to say, this hacker was out of bounds.

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Please no jokes about the runs: Brent Rosenbaum dispatched us a fitness newsletter that was supposed to refer to the Redondo Beach 1995 Super Bowl 10K. Instead, it said Super Bowel 10K.

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The work of a UCLA mole?Hunter Communications’ Collegiate Screen Saver Collection, comprised of programs used to protect computer screens left dormant, have design themes for several local universities. The USC version shows a cheering section spelling out SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. Except on the first try, the rooters misspell CALIFORNIA.

Which reminds us of the incident of a few years ago in which some USC frat boys tried to reprogram the HOLLYWOOD sign to read USCWOOD. Security guards, who caught them in the act, said the young scholars seemed to be having some trouble with the USC spell-out.

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Gone to the Big Flea Market in the Sky: Michael Jacob of L.A. shot a photo of a store whose motto--”Where Records Go to Die”--proved prophetic for the business.

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More Caltrans humor: The Auto Club’s Avenues magazine warns that car-poolers entering freeways in San Diego County are now required to stop at metered signals, just like low-life single drivers. Failure to stop could mean a $104 fine.

It says that San Bernardino and Riverside counties are considering the same set-up. Why do we have the feeling that L.A. and Orange counties will be next?

Anyway, for car-poolers visiting San Diego, the magazine offers these helpful hints to indicate you’re subject to control by ramp meters:

“Watch for a combination of visual clues: A meter signal rather than a ‘Do Not Stop’ sign will be immediately adjacent to the car-pool lane and this signal will be accompanied by a white painted stop line spanning the lane.”

Hey--easy clues to visualize and interpret at 60 m.p.h. or so!

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Snakebit: “I practice psychiatry and take suicide very seriously,” writes Dr. Walter Chameides of Monterey Park. “After 30 years of practice this was a new one on me,” he added, referring to a local newspaper’s blurb for the 1963 movie, “Cleopatra”: Queen of Egypt seduces Caesar, sees Mark Antony, asps herself. “

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It isn’t easy sniffing out column items: Especially this week while we’re battling a sinus infection. As if the headaches weren’t enough to make us consider going the asp route, the doctor assigned us a fun tool--a nozzle that shoots a medicinal solution up our nostrils. Mrs. Only in L.A. rolled on the floor with laughter when she read the name of the device: “Nasal Douche Cup.”

miscelLAny Jay Berman notes that there’s a Times Square Liquor Store located 3,000 miles east of the bright lights of Manhattan--in L.A., at the less lively corner of 42nd and Broadway, naturally.