Multicultural Manners : A Lesson in Chopstick Etiquette

Miyumi waits tabls in her father’s Japanese restaurant. Frequently, non-Japanese customers rest their chopsticks upright in the rice, making her feel uneasy and alarming her father.

What went wrong?

According to Japanese custom, chopsticks are only placed upright in rice at wakes. At the wake, a bowl of rice sits on a small table at the foot of the body. The chopsticks stand striaght up in the rice as an offering to assist safe crossing through the gates of heaven. Traditional Japanese believe that if the deceased encounters a guard, the departed can give the rice to the gatekeeper in exchange of passage.

Early on, many Japanese children are told that they will be cursed with bad luck if they ever stand their chopsticks straight up into rice. That’s why Miyumi felt so torn.

Her dilemma: Explain the custom to diners and risk embarrassing them, ruining their meal and perhaps losing their patronage, or say nothing and feel uncomfortable. Miyumi compromised. She explained the custom to the regular clients and most obliged. However, Miyumi was never able to discuss the situation with new customers.

Rule: When eating in a Japanese restaurant or with Japanese friends, avoid placing chopsticks upright in rice.