90’s FAMILY : Custom-Made Movies for a Pint-Sized Audience

It costs a lot of money to make a movie today, and we know there is nothing new under the sun anyway. If dark themes are the thing for kids today, why not take some popular adult titles and reinterpret them, with a heavy dose of realism, for a pint-sized audience? Here are some suggestions.

“Fatal Subtraction”: Math turns horrible as Ben’s father meets the school’s seductive new arithmetic teacher--and innocently offers to erase her boards. Curriculum Night was never like this.

“Four Play Dates and a Funeral”: Alexandra and Samantha attend all the same after-school parties and activities. Theirs is a touching tale of preschool friendship. But when “Sam’s” Fisher-Price pottery wheel spins out of control, the story turns tragic.

“Like Water for Hot Chocolate”: Poor Jonathan! Dad, a cross-dresser, is moving out, and Mom’s lover is coming to stay. Jonathan has trouble fitting in at school until his inimitable way with chocolate stirs up everyone’s affection. (If the ending is too upbeat, sister Julia could become bulimic.)