Cultivating Flowers--and Allergies : It’s the season for pollen to wreak havoc with the senses. Along with the aromatic smells and pretty sights of gardens and trees, spring spawns the sniffles.
Spring is in the air! ACHOO!
Excuse me.
It’s time to steer toward the yard and plant some . . . ACHOO! Excuse me. Trim the . . . ACHOO! Excuse me again! And spray for . . . ! I’m terribly sorry! Does anyone have a tissue?
HONK! There, that’s better. As I was saying before my allergies so rudely interrupted me, spring is in the air.
I love spring! I look forward to the bulbs in bloom, the fragrance of the roses, the bountiful blossoms on the fruit trees. What I don’t look forward to are the symptoms of spring: the runny nose, the watery eyes, the wheezing and the . . . ACHOO! . . . sneezing!
It’s up in the air as to who makes the most money off me this time of year, my nursery or my doctor. For every $20 I spend at the nursery, I spend an equal amount in medical co-payments, prescriptions and over-the-counter drugs so my allergies don’t bother me while I’m in my yard.
As a child I had allergies so bad during springtime that I rarely went outside. I thought I was allergic to spring. While the other kids played ball on the grass, I stayed indoors and played on the green shag carpet my father installed in my bedroom. Instead of grass stains I got rug burns.
As an adult, I am less hostile toward spring since learning what causes me to sneeze: pollen. Fifth-grade science taught me plants produce pollen. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, Los Angeles chapter, publishes a “Checklist of Common Allergenic Plants of Southern California.” Out of the 15 trees and shrubs “most likely to cause allergy symptoms,” I grow four of them. Three of eight “allergenic grasses” grow heartily on my lawn.
Science also reminds me that plants need water to thrive. Plants plus abundant rainfall in January equals thriving plants producing plenty of pollen in March. The drought may have ended, but the rationing of Dristan has yet to begin. Get in line!
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At least my allergies are seasonal. There are others who fight sniffles all year long. My neighbor Roz is allergic to dust. Every four weeks, she hires someone to clean her house from floor to ceiling. Roz skips the white-glove treatment and sniffs under furniture. If she sneezes, guess who doesn’t get paid.
My friend Randy recently found out he was allergic to foot spray. He eliminated the problem but now when he removes his shoes he passes out.
My wife thinks I’m allergic to working a real job! ACHOO!
Let me state for the record I am not a gardener. Among gardeners there is too much competition to have the biggest and the best. I prefer the title “One Who Likes to Get Out in the Yard.” That leaves room for error.
My preparations to get out in the yard begin with a four-hour allergy pill. Next, I’m off to several nurseries in search of color. I travel from Armstrong to Home Depot to Green Arrow coordinating plant colors, shapes and sizes as if I were preparing for the cover of North Hills Home and Garden.
My wife thinks I spend too much money at the nursery. “Instead of going to the bank, why don’t you just roll a wheelbarrow over to Green Arrow and make your deposit there.” I reply, “I would but first I have to go to Green Arrow and buy a wheelbarrow. Who wants to make two trips?”
I don’t spend as much money as I used to on my yard. During my first three years of being a homeowner, I didn’t know a shade plant from one that requires sun. After frying impatiens during Valley dog days and starving roses with shade because I thought they would never survive the sun, I finally began to read the tabs posted inside the plants at the nursery. The tabs that say Full Sun or Part Shade.
Next I stop at the gas station to purchase 25 cents worth for the lawn mower. I leave the gas can in the car because I love the look on the attendant’s face when I tell him, “Twenty-five cents on No. 3.”
Now, time to get dressed! Final preparations begin with sunglasses and a mask covering my nose and mouth to keep out the pollen. Baseball cap so I don’t sunburn my bald spot. Bug repellent for the mosquitoes. Wasp and hornet spray by my side to spray under the eaves; they love this warm weather, you know. Leather gloves, hoe, rake, hand pruners in their holster on one side of my belt, my Walkman clipped to the other. Headphones . . . check! . . . cassette tapes in rear pouch . . . check! . . . bottled water . . . check! It’s time to get out in the yard!
ACHOO! Except that my four hours have expired.
On Feb. 21 I made the first of many visits this season to my doctor. HONK! In between blows I asked him was there anything I could do differently this year. He said, “Move.” I said, “Where can I go in Southern California where my allergies won’t be as bad?” He said, “Barstow.”
ACHOO!
