If Collins Sits, Miami May Be 2 Dead Crew

Rap star Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew is trying to pressure the University of Miami into installing black quarterback Ryan Collins as the starter next season, according to the Miami Herald.

“If they don’t start Ryan Collins, Miami will get the death penalty,” said Campbell, who allegedly has paid performance bonuses to Hurricane players in recent years.

“I will tell all. I will tell everything I know to the NCAA. If he doesn’t go out there for the first play vs. UCLA (on Sept. 2), I’ll give all the violations from 1986 to last year.”

Obviously, a loyal fan.

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Trivia time: Who holds the amateur record for the lowest round in the Masters?

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Thrifty fellow: The Cincinnati Reds’ replacement players who were assigned to triple-A Indianapolis had the option of taking a bus or driving themselves and receiving $19 for expenses.

Said infielder Dan Rohrmeier, “I asked for it in nickels to make it look like more.”

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Diplomacy: After learning that the Russian Youth National League’s equipment had been stolen from a bus this week while the players were eating lunch in Gainesville, Fla., the Dodgers arranged to provide shoes, baseball pants and shirts for the 36 youngsters.

“I certainly didn’t want them to get the impression this is what the U.S. is like,” Manager Tom Lasorda said.

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Waiting game: Gene Caruso, a replacement pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers, didn’t get the big bonus he needed to bankroll his other pursuit, rock music.

“I was going to get in the studio and record my songs,” he said. “Now I guess I got to wait for a strike in the music industry.”

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Why not? Tony Cooper in the San Francisco Chronicle: “One of the Edmonton Oilers’ top prospects is a 20-year-old center named Miroslav Satan (pronounced Sha-tan). No, the New Jersey Devils aren’t the logical team for him.”

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Magnolia Alley? John Daly in Golf World on playing in the Masters: “I’m no traditionalist. The golf course was everything I ever dreamed of, but stuff like Magnolia Lane, that was just a road to me. It’s just a road with pavement, like some of the roads back in Dardanelle (Ark.).”

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Country living: Bill Lyon in the Philadelphia Inquirer: “Bryant Reeves is so big, he should have his own Monopoly space. You could put houses and hotels on him.”

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FYI: Joe DiMaggio was reportedly paid $150,000 for signing autographs at a card show in New York last weekend.

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Tango test: Ballroom dancing and surfing are on the waiting list as Olympic sports. The question is, would the dancers be tested for steroids?

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Looking back: On this day in 1963, Jack Nicklaus, 23, became the youngest golfer to win the Masters when he defeated Tony Lema by a stroke.

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Trivia answer: Ken Venturi, with a 66 in the first round in 1956.

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Quotebook: Edmonton defenseman Bryan Marchment, responding to NHL players criticizing his low hits: “If guys can’t take a hit, they should go play tennis.”