Let’s not make a federal case out...

Let’s not make a federal case out of it: We don’t want to get involved in another Whitewater. Or, should we say, a White Out?

This column mentioned previously that the White House sent David Beranek of Long Beach a letter that was noteworthy because it was dated Jan. 2, 2028. Now comes a second letter from Pennsylvania Avenue.

“I have just learned that you received a letter from President Clinton with an erroneous date,” presidential aide James Dorskind wrote Beranek. “On behalf of the President, I’m very sorry.”

What sounds suspicious to us was that Dorskind added: “I’d appreciate it if you would return to me the original letter you received for appropriate disposition at the White House.”

You’d think the White House would have more important things on its mind with a reelection fight coming up. Perhaps they don’t want the letter winding up in the hands of term limits proponents.

Anyway, Beranek hasn’t disclosed whether he’ll comply with the request. But he sounds forgiving. “I voted for Bill Clinton in 2025,” he said, “and I’ll vote for him again in 2029.”

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Equal time: Michael Tscheekar of Westchester, meanwhile, spotted a passage that Democrats will love in “A, B, Cs & Lullabies, All in Rhyme for Sleepy Eyes” by Kenneth Hayes:

M is for Mouse, who is really quite cute ;

N is for Newt, and a Newt’s just a Newt.

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International intrigue: Turning to the world scene, George White of L.A. came across a Southland apartment ad that seems aimed at CIA agents who work as double agents for foreign countries.

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Can they fit them both in the same box: Bill Child of Chatsworth found one of those rare opportunities--a chance to buy both a left and right shoe at the same store.

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Contract with the fans: Boston Red Sox pitcher Roger Clemens said the other day that he and his fellow players “have a lot of adjusting” to do to win back the trust of the public. Only in L.A.’s jurisdiction is limited to Southern California, but this column urges fans to boycott Dodger and Anaheim stadiums until the players union makes these pledges:

* No throwing firecrackers at fans.

* Discounts for senior citizens and kids who want autographs.

* No complaining in public about that measly $3-million annual salary.

* No smoking in the dugout.

* No scratching in public, especially during the playing of the National Anthem.

* Spit in the direction of the field, not the stands.

* At least fake a smile for fans when leaving the stadium.

And, please:

* No more than one strike per year.

miscelLAny The odds of being attacked by a shark are one in 100 million, Yachting Magazine says, while the odds of being audited by the IRS are one in 66. But what are the odds of being attacked by a Newt?