Georgia’s Not on Our Minds, but Stadium Is

We lose Georgia Frontiere, but we gain a new stadium?

I’d make that trade any day.

It’s like Christmas in April. It isn’t every day that we get to exchange a rundown football team for a beautiful new arena. It’s like trading a marble for a ruby.

You know what this means, don’t you? This means we don’t have to watch the Rams anymore and we won’t have to sit in the Coliseum much longer. Who says prayers aren’t answered?

And, if things work out as people say they will, it won’t be long before we also get a brand new NFL team. One with a real owner, and not Mrs. Doubtfire.

Talk about home improvement.

Those football people feel so guilty about leaving us one team short that they are prepared to help improve things here immediately.

A new, estimated $200-million (this sounds low to me) playpen will be erected near Hollywood Park, across the street from the no longer fabulous Forum, which probably isn’t long for this world itself.

Throw in a couple or three Super Bowls every decade and it’s a great deal for everybody.

Georgia Frontiere gets what she wants--a city that loves her. She gets to be the Mississippi delta queen, at least until those St. Louis people smarten up and recognize that this team is just as rotten as their last one.

Frontiere compared Wednesday’s sale-approval to “a wedding.”

Yeah.

And you know how long those things last.

Al Davis gets what he wants--luxury boxes, sold-out games, a stadium where he won’t have to place embarrassing tarps over the empty seats, better television exposure in Los Angeles and a bigger cut of the Super Bowl pie.

The new Raider stadium will be airport convenient. It will have comfy seats. Its foundation won’t be suffering from quake-crack syndrome. Its restrooms won’t resemble something from the Howard Stern Rest Stop off the Jersey turnpike. Its location will overlook Hollywood Park’s lovely fauna and ponds.

Sure beats that Irwindale gravel pit, eh, Al?

OK, so we lose the Rams. That was going to happen anyway. If those nutty St. Louis people are willing to buy tickets for the right to buy tickets, shoot, no way we can compete with that.

Orange County has better things to do with its money--like finding it.

Don’t worry, Ram fans and Raider haters won’t be without a team for long. Trust me, the nice folks over at Fox television will be faxing weekly notes to a Mr. P. Tagliabue in New York City, along the lines of: “Dear Commish: Regarding that NFC team you promised us--we’re still waiting, pal.”

I figure by 1997, we’ll have a new team.

Best-case: An expansion club.

Worst-case: Tampa Bay’s.

The only real losers are the Coliseum and the Rose Bowl. Once upon a time, California had two very famous places for sporting events. One had two Olympic Games and the original Super Bowl. The other had a great New Year’s Day event and a semi-regular Super Bowl gig.

But they’re as out of date as the Alamo now. Two big tenants are leaving. The Coliseum is losing pro football and the Rose Bowl is losing UCLA, probably.

Well, teams that draw 50,000 don’t belong in joints that seat 100,000 anyway.

It will be an absolute pleasure to have a new stadium, made to order. San Francisco and San Diego still play professional football in baseball parks, same way the Rams did. Los Angeles will have a luxurious new facility for NFL games, and perhaps a beauty across the street for NHL and NBA games too.

All we need now are some better teams to put in them.