Disassembly:Karen Johnson of Long Beach sent us...

Disassembly:

Karen Johnson of Long Beach sent us a strange letter from Assemblyman Steven T. Kuykendall (R-Long Beach), who was responding to a call she had made to his office. Johnson had expressed her support for a tippler’s tax on alcoholic beverages to raise revenue in L.A. County.

Kuykendall’s letter began: “Thank you for contacting my office regarding Tichler’s Tax.”

What we’d like to know is, who’s this Tichler and what’s he got up his sleeve? You may have uncovered a secret government plot here, Johnson.

TIE ON, FOR OLD SC: In the Neil Simon play “Laughter on the 23rd Floor,” the comedy writers are rehearsing a parody of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar,” in which they refer to Brutus, Cassius, Flavius--and Nostradamus. Suddenly one character asks: “Nostradamus defeated Southern Californius?”

Actually, as proud USC football fans know, the Trojans managed to avoid being defeated by Notre Dame last season for the first time in 12 years. The game ended in a tie.

Simon’s play, by the way, is very funny. Which makes us wonder. Was Kuykendall’s letter supposed to say “Tickler’s Tax?” Could it be an extra charge for comedies?

ATTENTION ROCK STARS: Cindy Lieberman of Agoura Hills found a phone directory listing for a company that can spruce up your house after a particularly wild party.

ANAGRAMS OF THE DAY: Nissen Davis of Rancho Palos Verdes points out that Business Week is trying to muscle in on this column’s daily anagram feature. But, we have to admit, the magazine did come up with some scrambled versions of INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY that will appeal to low-tekkies, if not low-Techlers:

* ENORMOUS, HAIRY PIG WITH FAN

* WAITING FOR ANY PROMISE, HUH?

* HEY, IGNORAMUS--WIN PROFIT? HA!

* OH, WORMY, INFURIATING PHRASE

* NEW UTOPIA? HORRIFYING SHAM

STUPID TOURIST TRICKS: Our item on dumb questions posted to the Catalina Chamber of Commerce--i.e., “What type of currency do you use?”-- struck a chord with Roy Seery of L.A.

Seery recalls that “back in the 1920s and ‘30s” a visitor would occasionally be overheard asking how a streetcar could travel across 22 miles of ocean. The baffled fellow would be referring to a trolley whose destination sign said: Catalina Terminal.

miscelLAny North American Fisherman magazine, in a ranking of the 10 most endangered rivers in America, lists as No. 2 . . . the L.A. River. Strange. Last time we checked, its concrete appeared in tiptop shape. The list reminded us of a revelation made years ago on a radio show regarding the mysterious source of the L.A. River. The team of Lohman and Barkley announced that it was a restroom at Busch Gardens. Well, it tickled us.