Letterman’s List

Associated Press

David Letterman wasted no time in taking aim at his new bosses, lampooning Westinghouse in his Top 10 list during the taping of Tuesday’s “Late Show.” He called the list “Ways CBS Will Be Different Now That It’s Owned by Westinghouse”:

10) Andy Rooney is now dishwasher-safe.

9) My first question for each guest will be, “So tell me about your appliances.”

8) CBS executives replaced by whole new batch of weasels.


7) CBS news to add spin cycle.

6) Thanks to advanced refrigerator technology, Ed Sullivan Theater will dip down to 4 below zero.

5) “Late Show” replaced by hourlong shot of washing machine.

4) “60 Minutes” doing a lot more investigation of that Maytag outfit.


3) I get to use slightly rewritten G.E. jokes from the late ‘80s.

2) Dan Rather’s new co-anchor: A coffee pot.

1) Five words: “Dr. Quinn, Refrigerator Repair Woman.”