Gumby on the Rebound : Water-Balloon Assault Fails to Dampen Healthy Work Ethic

Even after being assaulted, Gumby vows to bend but not break.

“They say nice guys finish last, but Gumby finishes first,” said Phillip Parks, a 22-year-old model who proudly dons a polyester Gumby suit and dances seven days a week outside a local health club called LA Fitness.

Until Wednesday, the Gumby gig seemed a gold mine.

Then, Gumby got waylaid by three water balloon-wielding teen-agers.

“I was terribly hurt,” Parks said Friday, back on the job after a speedy recovery. “I was crying.”

The incident might have been laughable if one of the balloons hadn’t hit Parks flush in the ear, nearly knocking him unconscious.

Writhing on the ground, he shouted for help, undoubtedly a once-in-a-lifetime sight for scores of onlookers.

When no one came to his aid--not even sidekick Pokey--Parks rallied.

“I took off my suit and started chasing them,” he said with some emotion. “I was going to make a citizen’s arrest.”

Many motorists at the busy intersection where Parks works (Hamilton and Brookhurst) were too astonished to react when they saw a drenched, deaf, headless Gumby scurrying after three assailants.

But several good Samaritans had the presence of mind to round the teens into a nearby neighborhood, then managed to hold one until police arrived.

“We responded right away,” said Huntington Police Lt. Luis Ochoa, stifling a snicker. “We were able to identify the other two.”

The assailants were 16, 17 and 18 years old.

“Turned out the 18-year-old is the one who got extremely close to Gumby and hit him in the head,” Ochoa said. “This balloon apparently knocked him down.”

Ochoa said the matter is being treated as an assault, and investigators are reviewing the facts.

But Parks said he doesn’t plan to press charges, mainly because one of the teens agreed to make an unusual restitution.

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Sunday, under some duress from his father, the 18-year-old is scheduled to wear the Gumby suit and do Parks’ 10-hour shift.

Police and the health club refused to release the assailant’s name.

But Parks wants him to know that Gumby is not to be trifled with.

“They tried to mess around with Gumby, to rain on his parade,” he said triumphantly, preening for any producers who might wander by. “I have to put up with a lot of [expletive] in this job. But the main reason I do this job is to make people happy.”

“Hey, hey, Gumby, hey!” a woman called from a passing car.

“Cool!” Parks yelled, giving the thumbs-up sign.

Herb Morris, sales manager for LA Fitness, said the club is grateful Gumby made a quick rebound.

“He’s bringing us about $500 to $1,000 worth of business a day,” Morris said.

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Parks, a fitness devotee, started working at the club as a telemarketer, but he was green.

Someone got the idea to stand the 6-foot-4, 182-pound ham outside the club to attract new customers, and that’s how the aspiring actor became a perspiring claymation figure.

It was actually Parks’s idea to wear the suit, a fact he freely, giddily admits:

“I’m the most unique character in the world, bro’! A dancing Gumby. A fast-action Gumby. . . . A buff Gumby!”

Morris shook his head and laughed.

“Sometimes I give him a little weight, and he’s out there with the weight,” he said, briefly imitating Gumby performing an arm curl.

Most motorists who see Parks--and it’s hard not to--honk.

Some stop and pose for a picture.

As a lark, one man asked Parks to wave a phony sign, which asked people to call if they spotted Pokey.

The scary part?

“Somebody called.”

In time, Parks wants to be known as “Phil the Thrill,” a model-actor who’ll do anything for a part.

But a piece of him, he said, will always be Gumby.

“All these people look at me as a hero. I want to save the world from danger. There’s a lot of violence out there, and I want to stop it. Through humor.”