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You see a lot of misery in this job. Hang around long enough and every form of human travail crosses your desk. I’ve been around a long time, seen a lot of misery, but the letter from Mission Viejo still caught my eye:

“Dear Mr. Parsons,” it began, “This is the tale of the recently mandated ‘1.6-gallon-per-flush’ toilets and how I and my husband have become stuck with them.”

They may have been stuck, but I was hooked. I read on.

“Several months ago the Santa Margarita Water District sent a communication to its rate payers, including us, extolling the benefits of exchanging the old seven-gallon-

per-flush toilets for the new 1.6-g.p.f. type. This would mean a savings in money and conservation of water.”

She went on to say the district specified two companies that carried the new toilets. The new toilets cost $40 each plus a $15 deposit for each toilet, which would be refunded when they returned the old toilets to the company.

She and her husband enlisted their plumber, and he removed their two toilets, installed the new ones and took the old ones to the company. “No muss, no fuss, but a hefty plumber’s charge,” she wrote.

That was just the beginning, she said. What happened next is that--well, better to let her tell it:

“With every flush, water splashes onto both sides of the toilet seats, up onto the lids as well as onto the backs of the toilets themselves. This requires wiping all the surfaces after each use. Even more troubling is the flushing action itself. Coming from the front of the bowls, the strong water flow pushes under any waste, thereby forcing any substances up and around the bowls before going down the drain.

“Sometimes all the waste does not get flushed away, requiring a second flush. In addition, the standing water level in the bowls is so low that the inside surfaces of the bowls above the water line become quite dry between uses, thus allowing some matter to stick to the sides. This may or may not be washed away with the next usage, requiring a second flush. So much for water conservation.”

The woman’s name is Evelyn, but she asked that her last name not be used. And who can blame her--would you want the world knowing about your toilet problems?

Doing some follow-up investigation, I contacted Evelyn, who described herself as a senior citizen. She says the company agreed to take the toilets back and give her a refund, but she feels stuck because exchanging toilets is no simple, or cheap, task.

“They’re in; it’s not like a toaster oven,” she says of the two toilets. “My plumber, who’s a real nice guy, took them out originally and brought them in in his truck. He charged $203. And, I’d have to buy other toilets, go through the whole business. My point is, I don’t know whether any other 1.6-gallon-per-flush would be any better.”

The manufacturer is Toto Kiki USA Inc. in Orange. Marketing director Newbold Warden was sympathetic to Evelyn’s plight but said that toilet model has been “revised on many occasions to be a better product every year. It’s an excellent working product, rated by both Los Angeles and New York [water district officials] as one of the top choices.”

The company manufactures 40,000 products and is the world’s largest plumbing manufacturing firm, Warden said, with worldwide sales of $4.5 billion. I did not have the courage to ask Warden how a company involved in waste disposal got the name Toto Kiki.

The company was the first to bring the 1.6-gallon-per-flush product to American markets, Warden said, noting that federal regulations now call for reduced water consumption toilets. The advantages are twofold--to conserve water and to lessen the impact on sewage treatment facilities, Warden said.

Warden said the company does “100%” testing of its products but conceded the possibility that Evelyn has a defective toilet, just as a consumer of any product may sometimes encounter.

“Don’t spin us too bad,” he said. “I’ll make a note here and make sure someone takes care of her particular situation.”

That should be welcomed news to Evelyn, who left me with this unsavory image of her rogue toilet: “When you finish with the john, you leave. But now when we finish with the john, we have to turn around and look.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.