L.A., the role model:Jack Ramsey of Glendale...

L.A., the role model:

Jack Ramsey of Glendale came across an article in The Times of London about Scotland Yard officers who, armed with semiautomatic weapons, ordered a suspected gunman out of a car.

“Four police marksmen pointed their guns at the man on the ground,” an incredulous office worker told the English newspaper. “It was like something from Los Angeles.”

Another aspect of the incident also had an L.A.-like quality. The suspect was innocent. The officers had been summoned to the scene by a passerby who mistook a car phone for a handgun.

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WHICH WAY DO YOU TURN AT THE 50-YARD LINE? We knew the Coliseum had gone through some modifications. But Ronald Zakrzewski of Glendale wonders if a triangular football field is going to be used for the three-way game advertised on a market coupon.

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BRUIN MERGER? Actually, we suspect that the game listed on the coupon will be a regulation match between two teams. It’s just that UCLA, a two-time loser, has decided to join forces with San Diego State for its game against undefeated USC.

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USC vs. UCLA (cont.): The rivalry over the schools’ relative educational merits also continues, judging from two documents leaked to us. Exhibit A: A press release from a Trojan alumni club brags that, in numbers of Rhodes scholars, USC is among the top 1% of all colleges and universities “west of the Missippi [sic] . . . “ Exhibit B: UCLA’s Daily Bruin brags in an ad that it’s “one of the best newspaper [sic] in the West . . . “

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Ken and Kirsten Robinson journeyed to a Mexican restaurant in L.A. where they found a notice with their menu. It began:

“Win a 1996 Porsche! By joining our Frequent Diner Program and spending $850,000 in any of our restaurants within one year, you could drive away with this fabulous automobile.”

The notice went on to say that lesser prizes also are available for less frequent visitors. Robinson calculated that $850,000 a year breaks down to $2,300 a day, adding: “If you ate $2,300 worth of Mexican food per day, would one even fit into a Porsche?”

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AUDITING THE IRS: A friend of ours applied for an employer identification number from the Internal Revenue Service and was informed that “you must file the following form[s] by the date we show:

“Form 1041 . . . 8/15/96.”

The next paragraph stated: “If the due date has passed, please complete the form and send it to us by 10/03/95.”

But then who would expect the IRS to be good with numbers?

miscelLAny:

Daniel Fink of L.A notes that the “Best Catch” ad in Gelson’s newsletter is “Sterling Atlantic salmon . . . farmed in the pristine waters of beautiful British Columbia.” Trouble is, an Atlantic fisherman would need a mighty long line to catch this fish. British Columbia is bordered by the Pacific Ocean.