Finally we've found a magazine that's certain Elvis is dead.
We point to Angel Times, which has Presley on the cover this month. The story is nestled amid the mag's unique advertisements.
Perhaps most mysterious is the pitch for an audio cassette entitled "Las Vegas--Where Angels Abound," which asks the question "Is Las Vegas the Angel Capital of North America?"
Then there is Angel Water ("From the healing waters of the River Jordan in the ancient East"), a $19.99 Angel of the Month, Divine Time Angel wristwatches, Angelic Essence AromaCards ("Share Angelic Greeting and Aromas With the Special People in Your Life") and enough books with winged, halo-wearing characters on the cover to stock whatever the heavenly equivalent of the Library of Congress is.
As for Elvis, the magazine's editorial copy assures us that while the King is dead we're continuing to experience his "blessings . . . through the love energy he perpetuates in the hearts of so many millions of people."
Johnny Who?: As a piece of cultural insight that time has twisted, we put forward this observation from Kenneth Tynan's 1979 book "Show People."
The esteemed critic was talking about American stars whose fame on the domestic front doesn't translate internationally. He writes about the former "Tonight Show" host:
"Outside North America, Johnny Carson is a nonentity. The general public has never heard of him." Then to further illustrate the phenomenon, he says: "O.J. Simpson is a parallel case: illustrious at home and nada abroad."
--COMPILED BY THE SOCIAL CLIMES STAFF