RESTAURANT REVIEW : Quality Varies on Cobalt’s Eclectic Menu

On a Friday night around 9, a friend and I pull up to the valet zone in front of the new Cobalt Cantina on Robertson. The valet, a young man in a suit, informs us that there is an hour and 45 minute wait to eat. While my friend waits in the car, I peek inside the dining room. In the pretty, dimly lit hall is a sea of people. If we did wait until nearly 11 to eat, where would we wait? In the restaurant’s Blue Bar? It is also crammed, with customers spilling out onto the street.

Earlier in the week, the dinner rush is less intense and we are seated promptly. (Reservations are taken only for parties of eight or more.)

The place looks great: white walls, a span of French doors opening onto a patio, a fire flickering in one corner. The last inhabitant of the site was Babylon, a late-night club-style restaurant, and vestigial Babylonian traces remain: yellowing papyrus plants totter in planters.

Overhead, huge iron caldrons hang on heavy chains and brim with indirect light. Sometimes Diana Ross croons on the sound system; other times, there’s just a thumpy disco beat.

Waiters appear to be selected on the basis of conviviality. Our waiter, Rick, is possibly even hyper-convivial. (We know he’s Rick because he stamps his name on the butcher paper covering our tabletop.) Rick assiduously guides our food choices--partly because it’s his job to sell food and partly because he knows what we will soon find out: that Cobalt’s food ranges from fairly decent to frankly repulsive. Rick works hard to keep us in the fairly decent zone. We don’t always cooperate.

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This new Cobalt’s menu is identical to Silver Lake Cobalt’s menu: a sprawling document whose offerings range from potstickers to pizza, nachos to Key Lime pie. Add to this encyclopedia a sheet of changing daily specials.

I’ve had delicious, silken sweet potato-corn tamales at the Silver Lake Cobalt, but the ones in West Hollywood are dry and crumbly and the accompanying guacamole and salsa can’t revive them. The brie and papaya quesadilla isn’t bad--it’s like something you’d make for a tropical-themed cocktail party in your back yard.

The best appetizer is a soup of the day, a curried corn chowder that’s creamy, smoky and has a subtle chile-heat.

Cobalt’s black bean tostada salad, the “Warm Up,” is a busy mix of textures: diced jicama, corn, chicken chunks, black and fluorescent-red tortilla chips.

What Cobalt’s food lacks in subtlety and quality is compensated for in quantity. Entrees are hefty servings on bright Fiestaware-style plates. Half a chicken seasoned with garlic and lemon is a little dry and comes with a big heap of “cantina vegetables”--shredded nearly raw squash with the texture and taste of water-logged Styrofoam.

Soft tacos are a better choice: juicy, bursting with spicy mixed vegetables and/or chicken. Too bad the black beans have an off-putting, sour tanginess. Marinated skirt steak is also just fine; chewy but tasty, and served with grilled corn off-the-cob and a mountain of too-rich “three-cheese” mashed potatoes.

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Except for the soup, I haven’t been impressed by anything on the special menu. Crab cakes are hard, flat, gritty little discs served with a tasteless red cabbage slaw. A slab of mahi-mahi, while nicely cooked, is drenched in a thick, mayonnaise-based remoulade. A Texas-style chili is so obviously ordinary and paltry and disappointing our waiter takes it off the bill without being asked.

Velvety, cool flan disappears fast. A misguided Key Lime pie with the curdlike texture of cheesecake is less appreciated. Worst of all, however, is a rice pudding that smells and tastes like soured milk: It’s inedible and Rick takes it off the bill.

Only 2 months old and already wildly popular, this Cobalt Cantina demonstrates West Hollywood’s great need for more mid-priced “date” restaurants.

But there are still a few kinks to iron out. For one, instead of apologizing for certain dishes and/or deducting them from the bill, why not taste the food before sending it out of the kitchen?

* Cobalt Cantina, 616 N . Robertson Blvd., (310) 659-8691. Open 7 days for lunch and dinner. Full bar. Visa, Mastercard and American Express accepted. Dinner for two, food only, $24-$60.