<i> Snapshots of life in the Golden State.</i> : Ballot Bonuses Lubricate Machinery of Democracy

If you’re looking for a reason to vote now that Colin Powell isn’t running, consider a move to San Ramon, east of Oakland, before the next election. Voters in this week’s election there could use their ballot stubs for free checking, and discounts on an oil change, a Thanksgiving ham and a chiropractor’s fee.

Although it is not a legal practice in federal elections, it’s legit for locals. Just as Alexis de Tocqueville observed of the democratic process more than 150 years ago: “For in the United States, it is believed, and with truth, that patriotism is a kind of devotion which is strengthened by” . . . lunch meat.

Alzheimer’s Month

November is National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month--proclaimed by a measure signed by then-President Ronald Reagan, who now suffers from the ailment. Alzheimer’s is an incurable, degenerative brain illness that destroys memory, cognitive abilities and judgment. It does not discriminate by race, income or where one lives, as these figures show. The chart looks at the population age 65 or older, and the percentage estimated to be suffering from Alzheimer’s or related dementia, in selected California counties. *--*

COUNTY PEOPLE AGE 65+ % WITH DEMENTIA Amador 5,000 10.98% Fresno 67,971 12.38% Los Angeles 987,957 11.89% Inyo 3,658 13.31% Madera 9,392 11.87% Orange 236,430 11.63% Riverside 127,534 12.75% Sacramento 114,067 11.19% San Diego 269,592 12.23% San Francisco 136,206 13.24%

*--*

Note: Figures are for 1990.

Source: Alzheimer’s Mental Health Branch, state Department of Aging

Researched by TRACY THOMAS / Los Angeles Times

*

News from on high: Not only does he not get a honeymoon from his own Republican Party, which is still griping about deal-cutting with Willie Brown, but new Assembly Speaker Brian Setencich also didn’t have a honeymoon with his wife, who is soon to be his ex-wife. Within a year of both his marriage and the election that put him in office, the former Fresno councilman is still Speaker--but soon to be an ex-husband. Kimberly Setencich filed for divorce over “irreconcilable differences,” including that no-show honeymoon.

His performance at the Sacramento press club earned better marks, and maybe even a local Q-rating, when he enumerated his own Lettermanish Top 10 list of most-asked questions. Five were of a policy nature and five were more impolitic, such as whether he would consider surgery to change the high pitch of his voice (he cited what happened after Pete Wilson’s throat surgery); whether, at 6-foot-5, he’s the tallest Assembly Speaker (he thought so until he saw the enormous fittings in the Speaker’s office); and whether he’d shower with a local station’s he-she morning radio team a la Frank Jordan (see Exit Line). The answer, from the bachelor redux, “Amy, yes, and Dave, no.”

*

Bag-lady Barbie: Except for silicone-implant plaintiff Barbie, she’s been just about everything that the mainstream American experience can offer--astronaut, chanteuse, businesswoman, hippie, doctor--and with the fabulous wardrobe for each busy lifestyle. So why not plumb the lower depths with Homeless Barbie?

Evelyn Burkhalter, the owner/curator of the Barbie Doll Hall of Fame in Palo Alto, has been told by the landlord to take her 20,000-item collection, reputedly the world’s biggest, and move along. Naturally, the eviction is being disputed among lawyers, but in the meantime, the marketing possibilities for Street Barbie should not go to waste. Think of the accessories! The shopping cart, the very layered look, the “Will Model for Food” sign.

*

Items you won’t read in the Auto Club News: A Torrance man driving his 1987 Saab (personalized license plate BUKLE IT) through Banning was pulled over by the CHP for not wearing his seat belt, for drunk driving (0.36% blood alcohol level), for speeding and for whatever it is they charge you with when your passenger, your 45-year-old cousin, is standing up naked through the sunroof to feel the breeze on her skin. . . . It was like netting fish in a barrel for Palo Alto cops, who lay in wait while drivers were in court being convicted of driving with invalid licenses, and then confiscated their cars when they got behind the wheel--still unlicensed--to drive away from the courthouse.

*

Caveat lector: Even as prosecutors struggle to find a city where they can try the notorious accused kidnaper-murderer of Petaluma schoolgirl Polly Klaas, a paperback book suggests that it may not have been the little girl’s body that was found two months after the kidnaping, that she might have been sold into white slavery.

Frank Spiering concludes his last two chapters with an interrogatory flourish: “Who killed Polly? Perhaps no one. . . . It’s not too late. Find Polly.”

Other books of Spiering’s authorship conclude that Lizzie Borden’s sister Emma killed their parents and that Queen Victoria’s grandson and presumptive heir, the Duke of Clarence, was Jack the Ripper.

The back cover of the current paperback pronounces him “The Columbo of True Crime” (presumably a reference to intellectual, and not sartorial skills). A reviewer of another of his volumes called it “concocted, Grade Z fiction.”

EXIT LINE

“If I had it to do over again, I’d probably wear a shower cap next time.”

--San Francisco Mayor Frank Jordan, who accepted a challenge and showered naked with two male DJs, uh, barely 10 days before the election. The “clean campaign” waist-up picture of the mayor (who must be very low-waisted) appeared on newspaper front pages.

California Dateline appears every other Friday.