Universal City : Riordan Can Joke About Finishing 4th

Lucky for Mayor Richard Riordan that he didn’t quit his day job.

Riordan finished fourth in a joke competition that pitted him against eight other big-city mayors at the “Comic Relief” homeless benefit on Saturday night at the Universal Amphitheatre.

“We felt that all the mayors did a great job,” HBO spokesman David Castro said diplomatically. “The three that came in as finalists were just funnier.”

Riordan was edged out by Seattle Mayor Norman Rice, Newark, N.J., Mayor Sharpe James and Baltimore Mayor Kurt Schmoke--who came in first, second and third, respectively. HBO programming executives selected three finalists after viewing videotapes of the nine mayors cracking jokes, and the “Comic Relief” audience chose the first-, second- and third-place winners.

In one of Riordan’s jokes, according to Castro, the mayor says he once went to see a psychiatrist, telling him, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me--I feel that everyone in the world hates me.” The psychiatrist says, “That’s impossible, Mayor, not everyone in the world knows you.”

Riordan also poked fun at New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Letting his head nod sleepily, Riordan said that when he needs to relax, he chants, “Giuliani, Giuliani, Giuliani.”

Los Angeles’ good weather may have lessened Riordan’s chances against Seattle’s Mayor Rice, who wowed judges with his “Seattle is so wet . . .” jokes and impersonations of President John F. Kennedy and character actor Walter Brennan of “The Real McCoys” fame.

Rice quipped that people in Seattle are so politically correct that at a recent game between the Seattle Mariners and the New York Yankees, when Yankee fans threw trash onto the field, Mariner fans ran down to sort it by glass, paper and plastic.

The mayors competed to raise money for local organizations participating in the National Health Care for the Homeless program.

During a brief appearance at the comedy event, Riordan sang a bit of the song “Feelings,” joked that the National Park Service grossly underestimated the size of the audience and praised “Comic Relief” for raising more than $30 million in the past 10 years to help the homeless. He also introduced the CEO and founder of “Comic Relief,” Bob Zmuda.