He’s Not Going to Like This ‘Dear John’ Letter

All right, Miss Blue Eyes, take a letter. To John Robinson, coach of the USC Trojans. Slug it, “Eyes Only, Not For Copying.” He won’t want to show this around. Ready? Let’s go.

“Dear John:

“We’ve got to talk, John. I’m sorry it had to come to this. I don’t quite know how to say this, but, John, it’s about the game Saturday.

“John, there’s something you ought to know. You know those guys in the funky uniforms with the gold stripe around the arms and shoulders?

“John, you got to beat those guys. If you don’t beat anybody else, beat them. Them and that funny team back in the old country--Indiana. The feisty Irish or some such. You have to beat them too.

“Oh, it’s nice to beat Stanford and tie Washington. But John, if you lose to Stanford, nobody much cares. Nobody’s looking, so to speak.

“I guess the moral of the story is, if you’re gonna lose, lose to Stanford or Cal. But not to UCLA or Notre Dame.

“John, it’s been 13 years since you guys beat Notre Dame. Now, it’s five years since the Trojans beat UCLA.

“That might play in Peoria, but it just won’t work here, John.

“If you’re going to lose next year, try to get it out of the way against one of the Arizona teams. Nobody cares. At least, nobody this side of Tucson. People get ‘em mixed up anyways. I mean, one of them is State and the other one is just plain old Arizona. Look at it this way: Who cares?

“I bring this up because you blew both of them away this year. By a combined score of 62-10. Nice--but what of it? And then, of course, you wiped the floor with the likes of San Jose State and Houston.

“Doesn’t cut it, John. That’s like winning two claiming races at Juarez, then breaking down in the Kentucky Derby.

“Saturday was the fifth straight time SC has lost to UCLA. If you don’t think this makes the natives restless, wait’ll the next Trojan Booster club meeting.

“You had to work hard to lose Saturday. I don’t make UCLA to be Notre Dame by a longshot. I make your team two touchdowns better than them--particularly when they haven’t got Karim Abdul-Jabbar in there.

“I knew it was going to be a long day for you right at the start, John. I mean, your team won the toss. And elected to let UCLA receive! What was that all about?!

“John, you can’t win the game without the football.

“The last thing you wanted to do was spot them the first draw. Boot Hill is full of guys who thought they could do that.

“Now you can relate. The Bruins ran that ball right down your throat. Five minutes and 70 yards later, they had a touchdown. You were down, 7-0, before the anthem had died down and before your guys got a look on the ball.

“John, you never caught up after that. You gave them the sword. Later, in the locker room you explained something about ‘this [USC] team not being able to start fast--so we tried a few things.’

“Whatever you tried, Coach, go back to the drawing board. The score was 21-0 before you really got the football and found yourself in the game.

“You can’t do that with UCLA, John. Or Notre Dame. When you can get your hands on the ball, John, do it. Save that fancy stuff for Illinois next year. Or Houston.

“You have to understand the history we’re dealing with here, Coach. I mean, Saturday’s game was like old times. No pros cutting up the pot here any more and we had 91,363 in the Coliseum. ‘Fight On for Old SC’ filled the air. The glockenspiels were clicking, the tubas oompahing and we were all ready for Student Body Right and all that shtick. The good old days, eh? Then, oops! 24-20. Hard times.

“Probably not your fault, John. Your team made more mistakes than a sailor on shore leave with a year’s pay. It wasn’t easy to lose, but they concentrated on it.

“You have to look at this thing from a historical perspective, Coach. I mean, this is the Trojans we’re dealing with here. The Thundering Herd, the Golden Horde. You think Howard Jones would lose to UCLA? Bite your tongue! Never!

“You think he would lose to UCLA and Notre Dame? They’d have to lock him in a rubber room. “What do you remember from the past, John? What do we learn? Think about it. When SC came back from beating Notre Dame back in 1931, 16-14, they gave them a ticker tape parade down Broadway!

“You think they’d do that for beating Oregon State?

“So, what we have here is your basic failure to communicate, maybe. It’s about priorities.

“The three things a USC team has to do is 1) beat Notre Dame; 2) beat UCLA; 3) go to the Rose Bowl.

“Well, one out of three ain’t bad. It ain’t good neither. You are going to the Rose Bowl.

“But, John, think about it. If James Milliner can run through your line, and Derek Ayers, I can’t look when Ohio State’s Eddie George starts through. The surgeon general should issue a warning. Your team had to work to lose to UCLA, but I think losing on New Year’s Day will come easy.

“On the other hand, the good news is, it’s Ohio State. “I mean, you can lose to Ohio State--or any other State. Doesn’t matter that much.

“Course, it would be just like your guys to beat Ohio State. Those are the kinds of games you do win.

“But if you do, I got to warn you. The alumni will be livid. They’ll get purple in the face and yell, ‘No, no! Not this one, Coach! That one game back in November, that UCLA thing! That’s the one we had to win. Or the game at South Bend in October! Not this game!

“But, just to be on the safe side, Coach, if you win the toss New Year’s, take the football. Fight On!

“Your Servant, J.P. Murray.”