Santa must have used his influence:One holiday...

Santa must have used his influence:

One holiday custom has been abandoned by Ikea, the Scandinavian furniture retailer. A spokesman for the Burbank branch said the store’s cafeterias won’t be offering their once-traditional “Reindeer Platter” ($3.75) this year.

That’s a shame. We’ve always loved the Christmas carol that was inspired by that plate--the one that goes, “On Prancer, on Dancer! / Cranberry sauce on Prancer, on Dancer!”

ONLY IN L.A.--MEDIATOR: “I am an inmate of the Los Angeles County Jail,” begins a note from L.G. “Today an argument broke out concerning the first McDonald’s, specifically where it was located and when it first opened. I know the answers but because there is fierce wagering involved, it is important to verify the facts with an independent knowledgeable source.”

Then why come to us?

Actually, L.G., our history books say that the first McDonald’s hamburger stand opened in San Bernardino in 1940. And we’re honored to be entrusted with this dispute, considering the huge stakes involved.

“At present,” L.G. disclosed, “there are approximately 17 Snickers candy bars [now the standard jailhouse currency] on the line.”

BUT IS IT COVERED BY KATO’S INSURANCE? Soon after KLSX-FM (97.1) hired Kato Kaelin as a talk show host, The Times’ Steve Hochman wrote a critical analysis of the station’s new “Real Radio” format.

KLSX’s reaction? The station picked out one Hochman quote and now trumpet it on billboards:

“ BRAIN LIPOSUCTION --L.A. Times.”

We’d bet 17 Snickers bars that some of the station’s listeners take it as a compliment.

CITY GRAFFITI-MOBILE: A while back we received a letter from Pat Jinks of Playa del Rey, who complained that his neighborhood had been free of graffiti until a city street maintenance truck was stationed there for some paving work. The truck was covered with spray-painted gang slogans.

Now we hear from John Kelly of Westchester, who says that the portable graffiti display had been “parked opposite my house.” But here’s the good news: “A few minutes ago, they [city workers] came out and painted it.”

Kelly added: “You’re doing your bit to clean up L.A.”

Now, if we could just get the city to make the ugly black arm band around the City Hall tower a bit more festive for the holidays.

WELL, AT LEAST IT HAS A MUSICAL RING: Cordy and Judy Kawamoto of Culver City received a computerized junk mailing that began:

“Dear H. I. Ho. . . .”

miscelLAny Traveler I, a half-Arabian, half-Tennessee walker who was USC’s equine mascot from 1961 to 1966, was born to the same mare as Silver of TV’s “Lone Ranger.” Funny--we always thought Traveler reminded us of someone.