Hi, my name is Bob, and I’ll...
Hi, my name is Bob, and I’ll be your robot today:
We generally ignore those pundits who detect something prophetic in “Blade Runner,” the sci-fi film that depicts a nightmarish L.A. in the year 2019. At least we did until we perused a restaurant bill sent to us by Ron Burton of Sunland.
At first, we were alarmed by the description of the restaurant’s employee. But then we realized that a mechanical server wouldn’t have hurt feelings if you neglected to leave a tip.
AND NOW FOR SOME 22ND CENTURY PRICES: GTE sent a “temporary disconnect notice” to the residence of William Metzler Jr. of Diamond Bar, informing him that once he paid an overdue bill of $132, he could be reconnected--for a mere $3,795.
And he got off cheap compared to Darryl Hughes, who received a similar notice from GTE at his Hermosa Beach residence. The phone company told Hughes that after he paid an overdue bill of $122, his reconnect charge would be $18,354 .
Sounds like GTE’s computers need a holiday rest. Or did the company sneak a 30,000% rate increase by the Public Utilities Commission?
NEVER A DULL MOMENT: In our recent list of geographical quotes from movies, we included this line from a young woman in “Mildred Pierce” (1945): “Do you think I was happy in Glendale?”
How dare she imply that Glendale is stodgy. Writer Nat Read sent us some personal observations that show what a rip-roaring town it can be.
You know you’ve crossed into Glendale, Read says, when you:
* Pass the Whig Party headquarters.
* Notice that the bus benches have doilies.
* Find yourself behind a motorcycle gang wearing leisure suits.
* Find parking lots that contain a couple of spaces marked for non-handicapped drivers.
* Pass an 18-wheeler hauling Prozac.
MAYBE THEY’RE PREOCCUPIED WITH HOLIDAY MEALS: The folks at UC Riverside seem to have food on their minds. First, there was the school’s report that contained this juicy morsel: “The UC Riverside effort follows similar endeavors by prestigious universities such as Pepperoni and USC. . . .”
No sooner had we digested that one than we received a copy of a letter from the office of a UC Riverside dean. It referred to the school’s “simmer” research internship program.
miscelLAny But we should talk. In discussing a Long Beach airline’s billboard that says, “LAX SUX,” we commented that a map in the ad shows LAX northeast of L.A. We wondered if the airline had mistaken Oxnard’s airport for L.A.’s. Well, Steve Lerner, Rick Weiner and others point out that the billboard map actually shows LAX northwest of L.A. No wonder we’ve never been able to find Oxnard. Or Pepperoni U., for that matter.
