“Anyone Ever Say That You Look Like Mel Gibson?” : Books Offer a Range of Tips on Talking Your Way Out of a Ticket. Does Any of the Advice Work? : City Smart / How to thrive in the urban environment of Southern California

Smile. But don’t beg or cry.

Remember, you have the right to remain silent.

That’s among the best advice from books promising to help you talk your way out of a traffic ticket.

“If the officer is in a good mood and you have a good attitude, chances are good you’ll slide-- unless he finds a body in your trunk,” Jeff Hodge, a traffic instructor and comedian, writes in “101+ Ways to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket.”

A least a dozen books offer a wide range of tips on how to beat the rap, everything from whether it helps to tell the officer he looks like Mel Gibson to what to say when the cop asks if you know how fast you were going.

But does any of it work?

California Highway Patrol officers say they are taught to decide, even before they get out of their car or off their motorcycle, whether they are going to issue a warning or a citation.

But officers also admit that politeness can make a difference.

“If the question is: Do some people talk themselves into a ticket, the answer is yes,” CHP Lt. Gordon Graham said.

“If you’re polite, you’re probably the first person that was kind and courteous to the officer all day for being stopped for a traffic violation,” CHP Officer Rhett Price added.

If the officer has decided not to write a ticket, a bad attitude on the part of the driver might cause him to change his mind.

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David W. Brown, author of “Fight Your Ticket,” warns motorists to beware of officers who act as though they have not made up their minds.

“The hesitating officer is often just trying to appear open-minded in order to extract admissions out of you, to use them against you in court. . . . The strategy is to try to get you to admit either that you committed a violation, or that you were so careless, inattentive or negligent that you don’t know whether you did or did not,” Brown wrote.

Alex Carroll, author of “Beat the Cops, the Guide to Fighting Your Traffic Ticket and Winning,” wrote: “If you are being pulled over for speeding and the officer asks you how fast you were going, your reply should always be something like, ‘You know, I’m not really sure’ . . . or something else non-incriminating.”

Carroll, who believes that allowable speed should be determined by the flow of traffic, also offers tips on places that cops like to hide.

“Be wary of zipping by a pack of cars in front of you. They might be going slow because there is a squad car in front of them.” He also advises: “Always pass large trucks with caution because you can’t see what’s in front of them until you pass them. Cops know this and like to hide there.”

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James Glass, an attorney and author of “Traffic Court: How to Win,” writes: “You are often asked if you know why you are being stopped. When he tells you why you were stopped, answer using a noncommittal ‘oh.’ Neither outraged indignation nor an admission of guilt is wise. The less you say is usually better.”

But Lt. Graham said officers should not be asking motorists, “Do you know why I stopped you?”

“If anybody ever asked me that, my response would be, ‘No, do you?’ A professional officer would never walk up and say, ‘Do you know why I stopped you?’ ”

CHP Sgt. Harry Ingold said, “If there was any chance of you getting out of the ticket, being polite will give you the best chance.”

And, he said, “Be honest. If you truly were doing 70 mph, and the officer asks you what were you reading on your speedometer, the officer already knows the answer to the question.”

“The biggest thing people do is to try to deceive the officer,” said LAPD Sgt. Dennis Zine, who’s on leave working for the Police Protective League. “It’s very refreshing for an officer to encounter somebody who tells the truth.”

“What is the purpose of warning somebody who would not admit that violation?” he said.

A CHP officer who requested anonymity offered an example of how a speeder could talk his way out of a ticket.

“If I stopped you for doing 73 mph and asked how fast you were going and if you could tell me exactly 73 mph, more than likely I would give you a break. I figure if you know exactly how fast you’re going, you’re paying attention to what you’re doing,” the officer said.

“The scariest thing is to ask people how fast they’re going and they don’t know.”

But what works with one officer may not work with another.

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One officer said he stopped a soldier for speeding but let him off with a warning after the soldier recounted his “day from hell.”

But at other times, the officer said, he tickets motorists whether or not they’ve had a tough day.

If the driver looks like his mother, another officer said, he usually issues a warning, unless the violation was serious, like barreling down the freeway at 90 mph.

Among the do’s and don’ts suggested by the books:

“Don’t cry, especially if you are a man,” said David Kelley, a former CHP officer who wrote “How to Talk Your Way Out of a Traffic Ticket.”

“Do not threaten . . . that ‘you’ll see him in court,’ ” Glass says.

“These actions will guarantee that not only will you get a ticket and that it will cover as many violations as the officer can think of but that he will be sure to remember you and most definitely appear in court for your trial.” (Glass also offers tips on going to court, such as: “Practice making your statement in front of the mirror and a friend” and “Dress appropriately. You don’t want to be the best- or the worst-dressed person in court.”)

Some excuses may get you out of a ticket, but the experts advise against lying about a medical emergency or a tree blocking a stop sign. The officer will check.

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One officer recalled that he pulled over a speeding driver who said his wife was in labor. The officer trailed the driver to the hospital and into the emergency room, where the man finally confessed that his wife was only three months pregnant.

“Everybody’s got an excuse,” Graham said.

“Doctors are a class among themselves sometimes with excuses. A lot of doctors are en route to some heart transplant,” he said.

Officers--and traffic judges--are intolerant of what has become a common excuse: “I was traveling with the flow of traffic.”

“If everybody was driving off the end of a cliff, would you follow them?” Price said he tells motorists.

Whether one gets a ticket or warning often depends on the seriousness of the violation, veteran CHP officers say.

Comedian-traffic instructor Hodge also says it doesn’t hurt to tell the traffic cop: “Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Mel Gibson?”

“Yeah, a lot of people believe that flattery will get them out of the ticket,” said CHP Officer Gretchen Jacobs. “That doesn’t work either.”

And begging doesn’t help, she advised, recalling a motorist who got down on his knees to plead his case.

“I still gave him a ticket.”

Readers can e-mail their comments to Rich Simon at richard.simon@latimes.com.