COMING TO L.A.? : Don’t Look a Gift Team in the Mouth

My mind is trying to picture it. Seahawk caps turned backward on California kids. Seahawk stickers on San Diego Freeway bumpers. Seahawk ticket info on a Sunset Boulevard bus. I have heard of birds flying south for the winter, but this is ridiculous.

Don’t look now, boys and girls, but we might be back in the National Football League. The date is Feb. 2, this is Groundhog Day, and life is repeating itself. We have Magic Johnson playing basketball against Michael Jordan, have UCLA as national champion and have a possibility of professional football. All we need now is Sandy Koufax and life would be good.

The bad news? There is no bad news. North by northwest, a man named Ken Behring is trying--threatening?--to escape his stadium lease and is offering--threatening?--to bring his Seattle football outfit, lock, stock and jockstraps, down here to the Southland, where the NFL is something we see only on TV. All I can say is . . . well . . . Ken . . . uh . . . I love you, man!

By no means is this a done deal. Seattle’s city councilpersons are begging Behring not to go. Pasadena people say they have had no inquiry from Behring about their handy Rent-a-Rose-Bowl service. And we have absolutely no notion how an NFL commissioner already up to his ears in complaints from Cleveland will feel about Seattle adding to the pile.

But we have nothing to lose. If our new friend Ken can’t deliver the goods, we will be no worse off than we were before. And if the Kenster can come through, well, what’s the worst thing that could happen? We would have a representative in the American Football Conference, which means we won’t win the Super Bowl.

Someone will be quick to say, “The Seahawks? Who wants the Seahawks?” Well, I will tell you who should want the Seahawks. Everyone should want the Seahawks. Because this is the NFL, and if you hang around waiting for a good team to move to your town, you could wait until you’re older than George Burns. Life is a raffle. Don’t look a gift team in the mouth.

Never forget NFL Rule No. 1:

You cannot play without a team.

Don’t bellyache about Seattle being a loser. You say the Seahawks have a disorganized organization, can’t do anything right? That’s what they said about the Mariners, and look what happened to them last summer. Every team hits hard times, but Wisconsin, Oregon and Northwestern got to the last three Rose Bowl games. So, don’t complain about the Seahawks swooping and pooping all over your roses, or anywhere else in your neighborhood. Worms turn.

The L.A. Seahawks?

I can live with that.

Expansion is wonderful, but the NFL expands infrequently, and there is no guarantee Southern California is next in line. No, our shots are at the Seahawks, Cardinals, Bengals, Buccaneers. I hate to break this to you, but the Dallas Cowboys don’t want to move here. Take whichever team you can get. Get back in the league.

Behring has been on CNN, talking as though the L.A. thing has gone from a Definite Maybe to a See You Soon. I don’t know how he will break his Kingdome stadium lease--maybe tunnel behind a poster of Rita Hayworth through a concrete wall. He evidently commissioned a study on earthquake preparedness that found the dome in need of $90 million in fortification; imagine that, someone moving to California to get away from quakes.

The idea would be, Seattle’s team would spend a season or two at the Rose Bowl, while prospective stadium architects from Chavez Ravine to Inglewood to Anaheim began impressing Behring with blueprints as imaginative as Howard Roark’s in “The Fountainhead.” A few offers to sell his team might also be coming Behring’s way. He might not be interested.

We know Peter O’Malley would like a team. Disney’s hot for one. Hollywood Park is razing hotels and bulldozing land, even as we speak. Many interested parties would like to have their own NFL team. One day I was speaking with Kevin Costner, the actor, who told me that he’d be interested in investing in a team. Magic Johnson can now afford another 5%.

Soon as we get a pro team, we get a stadium, or vice versa. Once we get those, we get to play host to a Super Bowl. Then maybe we get a second stadium, then an NFC team to go with our AFC team. Welcome to the food chain.

Ken Behring might start the chain reaction. I have never liked the Seahawks much. I am willing to learn.

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The Seahawks may leave Seattle to play in the Rose Bowl next season. A1