Now That He’s in NBA, He Can Switch to Limousines

Marty Conlon of the Milwaukee Bucks, who usually rides the bench, recalls his former life in the CBA when he and his teammates used to motor around in a broken-down 1977 yellow Lincoln Continental:

“There was never any gas in it. You didn’t want to fill it up if other guys were going to use it later.

“Nobody was going to put $10 worth of gas in it, if you were only going to use $3. So you’d put in $2 and take your foot off the gas going down hills.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for most steals in one quarter?

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Money men: Boston Red Sox backup catcher Bill Haselman’s locker is located between those of Mo Vaughn and Jose Canseco.

Vaughn earns $5.7 million and Canseco $4.5 million. Haselman makes $300,000.

Said teammate Mike Greenwell: “We got Money [Canseco], Mo Money [Vaughn] and No Money [Haselman].

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Political concern? Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe: “The Red Sox are finally up to speed with their clubhouse Latin presence. . . . If Pat Buchanan gets elected president, the Red Sox might have to deport half the team.”

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Wait a minute: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Cleveland Indian General Manager John Hart says, ‘We . . . recognize Albert Belle has an image problem with the media.’

“With the media? That teenaged trick-or-treater Albert chased and knocked down with his car was a media person?”

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Add Belle: In an Inside Sports interview he commented on not winning MVP honors: “Since when is character supposed to be a requirement for the award?” Interviewer: ‘For about the last 50 years.’ ”

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Child caring: Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times offering some advice to Atlanta Hawk Coach Lenny Wilkens on handling Christian Laettner: “Huggies are more absorbent than Pampers, and never lose the pacifier.”

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Company man: Seattle SuperSonic guard Gary Payton won’t be asked to participate in NBA promotion ads after saying: “If I was a fan, I wouldn’t watch the NBA until the playoffs. I’d watch college [ball]. It’s more exciting than the NBA.”

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No litter bug: Orlando Merced of the Pittsburgh Pirates broke his bat fouling off a pitch against the Philadelphia Phillies last Tuesday.

The biggest piece of the bat flew into the stands, directly into a trash can.

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Trivia answer: Fat Lever of Denver, with eight against Indiana on March 9, 1985.

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Quotebook: NFL owner Art Modell, on moving his team to Baltimore: “Time cures everything. They even took Al Davis back into the camp.”