‘Borderline’ Reveals Some Spooky Stuff

As if the real world weren’t frightful enough, now comes a UPN “reality” series titled “The Paranormal Borderline.”

Picture this: “Little short off-white beings, naked guys with big black eyes doing things to these people on a table,” plus animals being killed and drained of blood by a “short, vicious monster with glowing red eyes” that also flies and looks like a kangaroo with claws, is part feather and part fur, has spikes down its neck and is named “the goat sucker.”

But enough about the producers.

With Jonathan Frakes of Paramount’s “Star Trek: The Next Generation” as host, creepy music in the background, reenactments by the actual subjects providing the drama, this series is strictly for the National Enquirer crowd.

Segments also include a haunted house, a small girl who spoke to her dead mother and little brother, videotape of another one of those abominable snowpersons and three psychics and a private eye probing the weird case of a missing woman in Indianapolis. Look, it’s a gig.

Your favorite, though, might be the woman abducted by aliens who inserted a fetus into her body, and then removed it (“I know how crazy it sounds . . .”).

Pretty scary stuff. Even scarier is the prospect of viewers buying it.

* “The Paranormal Borderline” premieres at 9 tonight on UPN (Channel 13).