Conversation: WITH SONAM WANT CHUK of the GYUTO MONASTERY : ‘We Never Saw a Bad Kid’
This is the first time that I have worked with American children. In India, I have worked with many kids. I think the kids here have too much freedom and they don’t understand the responsibilities that go along with this freedom. Another problem is that both parents need to work and no one is home for the children when they return from school so the kids go to the streets and that’s where the trouble begins.
Children here are fortunate. They are growing up in a healthy environment. The hygiene and nutrition are great and everything is clean, even the streets. The U.S. is 90% more comfortable than India.
In the United States, parents are not allowed to smack their children because the kids call the police and say the parents are abusing them. In Tibet, the parents smack the children and they become quiet. All parents want the same for their children but they have a different way of expressing this.
We monks are not special; our chanting for world peace is what is special. We believe that the children are blessed by our chanting and we pray for them that they may take a new direction with their lives. When the kids realized that we came all the way from India to help them, they were amazed that we cared that much about them, and they began to feel hope.
In the camps, we teach the children inner peace through chanting and meditation. They are also taught about the Tibetan culture, language, alphabet and the sand mandala. At first no one wants to become involved with the sand paintings. The kids think we look funny in our robes and shaved heads and they think that the chanting sounds stupid. Then something happens and they say yes, we want to learn from you monks.
The kids tell us that they never experienced meditation before. Some kids told us that when they concentrated, closed their eyes and relaxed, that they reflected back on what they did and discovered where they messed up. They realized that if they hadn’t messed up, they wouldn’t be in this camp now. They know that they have to pay for their wrongdoing. You can actually see the changes in the kids’ faces. We heard about how bad these kids were, but we never saw a bad kid. The kids always gave us respect. They didn’t open up to us right away, but now they share their feelings with us and tell us about their plans for the future. They feel that there is hope for them. One of the probation officers said that since the monks have been here, there has been peace at the camps and the nights have been quiet.
Americans may want to take a look at all the violence that surrounds them. There’s so much violence on the television, on every channel. The children see this all the time and perhaps this is not the best message to give to them. When we go back to the monastery, we will request that the monks say special prayers for these kids.
*
BARRY BRYANT
Director of the Samaya Foundation
Every aspect of our training program has to do with teaching children to focus attention and concentration. Once they can do that, they can begin to feel good about themselves and to learn respect for themselves and for one another.
These small healings that take place each day, those are the important ones. They are little baby steps, and this is where we can crack the violence and experience nonviolence. This will start them on the road to self-esteem, and the essence of this program is self-esteem. It is not about religion. We teach them the fundamentals of being healthy and being a part of a healthy community.
The kids say that the monks never get mad. They have never witnessed this before. The monks’ presence and example elicits the idea of nonviolence. We must understand and experience compassion ourselves before we can pass this along to the kids.