After the Storm, ‘Rainbows’ Awaits

A 12-year-old girl, rocked by her parents’ divorce, feels she would be better off dead.

A boy the same age has spent a decade blaming himself for his father’s murder, even though he was a sleeping 2-year-old when it happened.

A 52-year-old man, whose father died when he was 7, copes with the pain by blocking out even happy memories of his dad.

All three found relief from their emotional turmoil through Rainbows, a program of peer support that helps people resolve the feelings of loss, grief and abandonment that follow a death, divorce or other painful family transition. Initially an Illinois-based Catholic church endeavor, Rainbows now offers secular programs throughout the United States and in 10 other countries.

In Southern California, the guiding force behind Rainbows is Marilyn Scott, a San Gabriel mother of five grown sons and grandmother of 10 who works out of a home office filled with rainbow-adorned cards and figurines and whose own sunny nature seems an ideal match for a program that offers healing and hope.

After discovering Rainbows through her church in 1987, Scott worked her way up the volunteer ladder to become state chapter director in 1993. She relinquished that 40-hour-a-week position in February after three years, but continues to market the program to churches, synagogues, social service agencies, schools and hospices. She also spends numerous Saturdays training volunteers and leads two groups herself, one for young children and one for adults.

“I found my niche with Rainbows, because I love helping people, being with people, trying to make their lives better,” says Scott, 66. “I love working with the kids and seeing them smile.

“You can break the chain, because I did,” she adds. “I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but when I married, I realized it did not have to be that way. I didn’t have to raise my kids that way.”

The program is free for children; adults pay a nominal fee to cover the cost of materials. Rainbows has four divisions: the original Rainbows, for elementary school children, Spectrum for adolescents, Kaleidoscope for college students and adults, and Prism for single parents and stepparents. All four series run 12 weeks in a confidential setting. There is also a division called Silver Linings, to help people deal with onetime traumas such as the 1992 Los Angeles riots. In the works is a level geared for ages 2-4.

“We do not give advice or suggest what to do,” Scott says of the leaders of the group sessions. “We turn it over to the rest of the group. They find out they are not the only ones going through it. There’s strength in that.”

But when children and teens report abuse or thoughts of suicide or other serious problems, Rainbows facilitators refer them to mental health professionals and follow up to see if they receive appropriate psychotherapy.

With children, Scott says, “I see what we do as planting seeds that will start the children on a journey of healing. We’re helping them develop tools to live positively. We cannot change what’s happened to them--we can’t make their father come home or their mother stop drinking. But we can make them know that they’re valuable, that they can develop a happy life.”

Sue Reichle, a counselor at St. Mary’s School of the Assumption in Whittier, arranged to bring the Rainbows program to the school. “Rainbows is a fabulous program,” she says. “It’s difficult for kids to articulate feelings. If you can talk to them and help them work these things out at a young age, it will make for much more emotionally stable adults. Group support with peers is much more effective for kids than individual therapy.”

As for the adults, she says, “I tell people that kaleidoscopes are made up of little pieces of broken glass. I see Kaleidoscope as taking broken pieces of life and making something beautiful out of them.” At the end of one group she led, she says, all of the members signed up to be facilitators for children’s groups because they did not want children to wait as long as they did to start healing.

One who found Rainbows in time is Rachel, now 19, who was a suicidal seventh-grader when her parents divorced seven years ago. She joined a group Scott facilitated. “If I didn’t have Rainbows, I don’t know if I’d be here today,” says the Rosemead resident, who now works for an insurance company and is studying to become a dental hygienist. “You can be very self-destructive if you don’t have support. I don’t think I ever would have talked to my friends about my problems. But Rainbows opened us up.”

Currently attending Scott’s sessions is Pat, a single mother whose 7-year-old son is in Scott’s other group. “You feel comfortable with Marilyn,” she says. “She’s an honest person who legitimately feels your pain with you. She’s able to help people just by being there, to listen. My little boy comes home happier and more content after being at Rainbows. He takes it seriously. I feel it’s helped him to deal with other kids.” Says her son, “I like Rainbows a lot. I was mad, but we talk, and it’s good for me. It makes me feel better since the divorce.”

Says Rachel: “Marilyn made a difference. I didn’t think anyone cared at the time and she did. She never let us leave without a hug. She was a great role model, teaching us. She really helped.”

* This occasional column tells the stories of the unsung heroes of Southern California, people of all ages and vocations and avocations, whose dedication as volunteers or on the job makes life better for the people they encounter. Reader suggestions are welcome and may be sent to Local Hero Editor, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.