COMMENTARY : Newest Disney Cartoon Is Called ‘Let the Buyer Beware’

Hours before the official announcement that Anaheim had caved and caved and caved in until it hurt, Disney executives Michael Eisner and Tony Tavares spent a few innings in Jackie Autry’s private suite Tuesday night, checking out the merchandise one last time.

On opening night and deal-closing eve, the Angels scored one run in the second inning.

And the Brewers scored one in the second . . . and eight in the third . . . and one in the fourth . . . and led, 10-1, before Tim Salmon could step in for his second at-bat of the new season.

So, is it too early to have buyer’s remorse?

Disney backed out of this thing once before, so you never know. The first time, the deal-breaker was the Anaheim City Council’s bizarre behavior of late--bowing before Ken Behring in open public, offering to rename the place “Seahawkheim” and baying at the moon, “Give us Sportstown or give us debt!”

Disney pushed away from the negotiating table miffed, annoyed, confused and a little afraid.

It was kind of like the Angel-viewing experience Tuesday, with Chuck Finley, Ken Edenfield, Mark Eichhorn and supporting cast co-starring in the first and second reels of the Milwaukee Brewer 1996 highlight film.

Knowing the Brewers as we do--Jeff Cirillo? Mike Matheny? Matt Mieske?--there might not be a third reel.

Possibly, the Angels were pressing. It can’t be easy, being showcased for the Walt Disney Co. An eight-run Milwaukee third inning? Suppose Eisner gets fed up, has seen enough and pulls the plug again. Where would that leave the Angels? Jackie Autry has threatened to move the team if Disney doesn’t buy in. Imagine the pressure: Let Jose Valentin take you deep and your next stop could be northern Virginia.

Before the nervous on-the-field breakdown, the Angels conducted what could be the last opening night ceremony of the pre-Mickey era. It was worth remembering, because if Disney does indeed buy in, it will never look this way again.

The pregame show consisted, mainly, of an around-the-warning-track parade that appeared to be assembled by pulling people off the corner of Orangewood and State College.

Twelve motorcycle cops buzzing along the avenue? Hail ‘em down, bring ‘em in, let ‘em take a lap inside Anaheim Stadium. And--let’s go really wild here--have ‘em turn on their sirens really loud, as if they were flagging down an Angel middle reliever.

After the police escort came a couple Anaheim High students holding aloft a white flag--appropos, no?--bearing the Angel crest.

Following them were a half dozen “Angel Wings”--quasi-cheerleaders sling-shooting baseballs at kids along the first base line--and a couple local high school marching bands, the U.S. Marshalls Posse on horseback, the Santa Ana Winds, the Anaheim Velvet Knights and that was it.

Total cost for pregame entertainment: About $100, give or take.

That will change under Disney. Opening Night ’97 could feature any or all of the following:

--Pregame mock bench-clearing brawl between Mickey, Minnie, Snow White and all the dwarfs.

--Goofy shaking right hands with good neighbor Wild Wing, mascot of the Mighty Ducks, and mischievously setting him on fire with a hidden Zippo lighter in the left hand.

--Civil War recreation on the infield, complete with authenic cannon ball divots. “And it’s bounding ball to DiSarcina . . . oooh, bad hop. Unlucky.”

--And, of course, ceremonial first pitch delivered by Pocahontas.

It will be a different world, after Disney takes over. New uniforms. New logos. New stadium. Or at least a new look for the old one. The agreement Disney and the city is supposed to sign today calls for a $100 million renovation of Anaheim Stadium. This will entail ripping out 20,000 seats and opening up center fielder again, the way it was before the Rams moved in.

This will achieve two important objectives:

1) Fans behind home plate and the dugouts will be treated to a scenic view of the 57 Freeway.

2) Opening night crowds of 27,836 will no longer look like the place is two-thirds empty.

That done, maybe Disney can then turn its attention to the mid-game entertainment.

Put together a team that can hold an 11-game lead over Seattle with 55 games to play.

Or, at least, put together a team that can hold the Milwaukee Brewers to less than two runs per inning.