‘If Spray Paint Is Outlawed . . . ‘

No one ever said graffiti taggers were smart. Not long ago, in Washington, D.C., they painted the usual gibberish on a stone mansion at 1500 Rhode Island Ave. This is a handsome old palace that has been the home of a secretary of state, a Russian count, Alexander Graham Bell and, since 1940, the National Paint and Coatings Assn.

The current occupant is a trade group that lobbies mightily against any and all legislative attempts to restrict the sale of spray paint. Thus, it seems rather moronic for taggers to mark up Paint Lobby Central, sort of like gun enthusiasts turning their Uzis on National Rifle Assn. headquarters. Nonetheless, it happened. And how did the paint lobbyists respond?

“We followed our own advice,” said attorney Heidi McAuliffe. “We painted over the graffiti right away.”

Yes, makers of spray paint have an idea about how to whip graffiti. When taggers come calling in the night, the tagged should go out the next morning and cover over the mess with paint of their own. Available in hardware stores everywhere. Keep an extra can or two around the house. . . . No one ever said the paint industry was stupid.

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According to Industrial Finishing--a publication presumably of biblical veracity on the subject of paint--modern spray paint was inspired by the wife of a traveling paint salesman. Ed Seymour’s spouse, reports Industrial Finishing in a 1992 article, “noticed that he had to tote brushes, solvents, paints, containers and other paraphernalia wherever he went to demonstrate paint. She suggested, ‘Why don’t you put your paint samples in aerosol cans?’ ” Ed got cracking.

This was 1949, when all was good in America. The world had been made safe for democracy, and the industrial wizards who had devised weapons now were focused on labor-saving devices, meant to make the good life even better. Good Americans, not bad, owned the streets. And the phrase “good government” was not yet seen as laughable and empty.

A half-century later, nothing seems quite so good. For example, bad Americans control too many city streets, and they leave behind graffiti markings to rub our noses in it. Nothing can stop these little Rembrandts. They have been scolded, cajoled, educated, treated as misdirected artists, forced to clean up their own messes, jailed and, last year in Sun Valley, shot down by a vigilante. No luck. Now comes state Sen. Quentin L. Kopp (I-San Francisco) and California’s district attorneys with yet another proposal: Ban the sale of aerosol spray paint altogether.

Happily for taggers, and for the paint industry, SB1696 appears to be headed nowhere fast. Last week the bill barely limped away from its first committee test, reduced already to a regional pilot project that wouldn’t begin until the next millennium. There are reasons why Kopp’s bill is all but dead on arrival. They say as much about Sacramento, and the government process, as they do about the merits--or lack thereof--of banning spray paint.

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To dispense with the most cynical explanation first, the paint industry and the business lobby in general have clout (read the wherewithal to raise campaign money). The average person who awakens to a freshly defaced house does not. “Milk cows,” said a veteran consultant, “are never allowed to die up here. We keep ‘em around forever.”

Also, spooked by the recession, most elected officials here and everywhere--Republican and Democrat alike--now regard their duty simply as one of job preservation. If that requires allowing more smoke in the air, more sludge in the river or more graffiti in the neighborhood, well, so be it. The notion of government as a referee between competing interests--say, factory operators versus residents--is as outdated as a paintbrush.

And frankly many people don’t trust government anymore to fix anything anyway. Better Big Brother stay out of the way, this thinking goes, than bumble in and make matters worse. Included in the governmental nonbelievers, incidentally, are many of the very people elected to run the government. What chance can a spray paint ban have in an environment where motorcycle helmet laws are regarded by an Assembly majority as excessive government meddling? If a recount could be swung today, seat belt laws would be history.

Finally, the paint industry in this fight can count on some natural allies. The gun lobby, for example, will not take kindly to Kopp’s implicit suggestion that a crime can be curtailed by taking away a criminal tool. One can imagine the bumper sticker: “If spray paint is outlawed, only outlaws will have spray paint.” Clever, but it won’t solve the problem. What will? Well, if I’m reading my mail right, a good number of folks would favor shooting taggers on sight. Short of that, it’s back to the industry approach: tag, repaint, tag, repaint. Hey, it’s good for business, and that’s what counts.