L.A. insult No. 50,345:Dan Gibson of Ventura...

L.A. insult No. 50,345:

Dan Gibson of Ventura forwarded a clipping from the “Diary” column of the Minneapolis Star Tribune, which took a cheap shot against the L.A. Police Department.

The column recounted an incident in which Minneapolis police came upon a disheveled man lying on a street. A female officer inspected the figure, according to the writer, then “retrieved a first-aid kit, returned to his side, gently nudged his shoulder and, in a bright tone, said, ‘Wakey, wakey.”’

A passerby who witnessed the tender scene remarked, “This really isn’t L.A.”

The item was headlined: “Sparing the club.”

OUR REACTION TO THE ABOVE ITEM: Wakey, wakey?

ANOTHER SPACEY ANGELENO: An arrest report for a bit of domestic warfare between boyfriend and girlfriend quoted the defendant as saying he had a friend from the planet of Pluto. Needless to say, the incident occurred in Hollywood.

TOGETHER AGAIN: One of the more forgettable parts of David Letterman’s fiasco as Oscars host in 1995 was his linking of the first names of actress Uma Thurman and TV personality Oprah Winfrey--and his intoning of the two over and over again.

But someone found the bit memorable enough to memorialize it on a license plate. A colleague driving through Glendale spotted UMA OPRA.

Does the plate belong to a Letterman joke-writer? A Jay Leno joke-writer? An Oscar staffer?

One thing’s for sure. We know what Letterman’s response would be:

“Wakey, wakey?”

STILL PROWLING THE MEAN STREETS: Raymond Chandler fans will be happy to hear that the sign-in roster at robbery-homicide in Parker Center one recent day contained this name: “Marlowe.”

Occupation: “Private eye.”

BLUE PLATE SPECIAL: We mentioned a while back that Bob Bacharach of Palos Verdes spotted a license plate that said ME YRU and translated it as, “Why are you following me?”

Brian Alexander of Encino opines: “Bacharach’s solution is clever but a little too clever. Actually, we need more info.”

Alexander suspects the plate really means, ME WIRE YOU. He adds: “If it was an expensive car then it’s an electrician. If it was a mid-range car, then it’s a cable-installer. And if it has dark, tinted windows . . .

Well, we won’t go into that.

DODGER GREEN: A gift shop at the Hilton Hotel in the Civic Center offers Dodger hats that say “L.A.” for $8. Dodger hats that say, “Nomo,” are priced at $20.

DIVER HUMOR: At a recent Olympic fund-raiser in Santa Ana, Dr. Sammy Lee, the USC alum and two-time Olympic gold medalist, discussed his winning performances in the diving competition in 1948 and 1952. “Pretty good,” he quipped, “for a guy who never learned how to swim.”

miscelLAny:

Nat Read of Pasadena received a credit card brochure from Bank of America and noted, “Interesting name for a bank promotion.” Read was referring to the sample card, which listed the holder’s last name as “Robbs.” Someone give B of A a wakey, wakey call.