On Your Own at 18? You Need a Reality Checklist

Remember the first time you were on your own? Whether right after high school or college, it was a little scary, right? Oh, it was great, of course. But suddenly there were all these things you had to do just to get through the day. Without Mom or Pop.

My wife still tells about coming to visit me before we were married and finding my apartment bathtub full of two weeks of dirty dishes. And I’m still telling about her buying her first car on her own: It resembled a small battleship and could drain a tank of gas with a trip across town.

Winging it alone for the first time can be especially confusing if your life up to that moment has been filled with obstacles. Students graduating from alternative or continuing education programs, for example, have enough on their hands just trying to land a decent paying job.

California Law Advocates has put a lot of thought into that. The volunteer legal support group has published a dandy little 40-page booklet called “When You Become 18.” It’s free and all about your rights, as well as your responsibilities, when you hit that magical age. It’s aimed at those who’ve struggled to get through school, but volunteers are learning that teachers from all kinds of graduating classes are asking for it.

The group has given out more than 75,000 booklets, mostly in Los Angeles County. In Orange County, some 4,000 booklets have been passed out so far this year. Distribution is pretty much a one-woman operation--Jo Hicks of the Orange County Law Auxiliary. Hicks is offering them to any teacher who wants them. (No relation to me, but her husband is Superior Court Judge Cecil Hicks.)

Dawn Fitzgerald, who teaches an alternative education class in the Fullerton Union High School District, ordered copies for all her students last year, and says she’s received much feedback that it was a big help.

“Sometimes reality hasn’t set in that they are about to go out on their own,” Fitzgerald says. “This booklet is a good reminder of what’s out there.”

Maybe you’ve forgotten, but 18 is the first time you can register to vote, sue in your own name, or make a contract. You can also buy a car without asking anyone to sign for it. You can even join the Army.

The booklet is written in question form, covering a variety of topics. A few samples:

“Boy, did I make a mistake. How can I get out? (Divorce)

“Don’t you trust me? Why a security deposit?” (Housing)

“Do I get anything for this?” (Jury Duty)

“Does a bad credit rating ever go away?” (Credit)

Sorry if you thought 18 was legal alcohol time. Wait three years. The booklet also gives you a stern warning on laws regarding drugs, gun use and date rape.

Nothing in its pages, I’m afraid, on what to do if your kitchen sink is overflowing with dishes.

Because Jo Hicks is married to a judge, she cannot have her telephone number published. But if you want a copy, or if you’re a teacher and want lots of copies, call me at my number below and I’ll tell her.

Having a Ball: You don’t have to be a good dancer to love great dancers. And one of the greatest of all headlines the “Dance to Stop the Cycle of Violence” benefit at the San Clemente Community Center tonight. Victor Fung of Laguna Hills, though just 19, is the current U.S. amateur ballroom dance champion. He’ll dance with his 16-year-old sister Tiffany.

The ballroom dancing event, open to the public ($25), will benefit Laura’s House, a local shelter for victims of domestic violence.

Joust You and Me: Fountain Valley High has found a traditional way to make sure its seniors all stay healthy and safe on graduation night. It’s a class party--from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m.--in the school gymnasium, where nobody gets to leave until it’s over.

“Everyone I’ve talked to who’s ever been has raved about it,” says Janet Jones, a parent and one of the organizers. This year’s theme: “This Knight’s Joust for Us.” A medieval castle setting, of course.

Olympic Golf: Remember our thrill when track star Rafer Johnson carried the Olympic torch into Los Angeles Coliseum for the 1984 games? Johnson still dedicates himself to Olympic causes. He’ll be one of the special guests Monday at the sixth annual Pat McCormick Celebrity Golf Classic at Los Coyotes Country Club in Buena Park. You guessed right: The post-tournament banquet has an Olympic theme.

McCormick of Seal Beach is one of Orange County’s greatest Olympic stars--diving gold medals in 1952 and 1956. Each year her golf tournament helps raise funds for future Olympians. Another beneficiary is her “Pat’s Champs” program for troubled youths.

Wrap-Up: If we baby boomers can look back with nostalgia at the year we turned 18, I wondered how some of the elderly might feel about it. STOP-GAP, the Santa Ana theater dance troupe, recently asked some local senior residents what their wish list would include, and many were eager to turn the clock back. A couple of my favorite, listed in STOP-GAP’s most recent publication on “Growing and Knowing”:

“To have my 78 years in a 30-year-old body.”

“To be wise as well as young! I would have three husbands--one for fathering, one with money and one for sex!”

STOP-GAP also listed these thoughts on the young from a 95-year-old woman: “You don’t hear as much laughter as you did in my day. . . . In this age I don’t think people are as happy, they don’t take time to be happy. They’re too anxious to get ahead of their neighbors. I do think in a way that they have too much now. We did with much less.”

A sage from Leisure World in Laguna Hills? No. Grandma Moses, who wrote that more than 40 years ago.

Jerry Hicks’ column appears Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Readers may reach Hicks by calling the Times Orange County Edition at (714) 966-7823 or sending a fax to (714) 966-7711.