Ex-Member Hopes His Bleak Tale of Gang Life Dissuades Youths

The photographs tell the story of Jesse Soto’s life, showing the gang clothing he used to wear, the hand signs he used to throw, the graffiti he painted and, finally, the friend cut down by a rival’s bullet who now uses a wheelchair.

Soto, a former Santa Ana gang member, showed the slides Friday during an impassioned speech to about 75 11- and 12-year-old students at Neomia B. Willmore Elementary School in Westminster.

He told them that they are about the age he was when he joined a gang 25 years ago. Now an assistant physical education coach in the Santa Ana Unified School District, Soto spends his spare time urging youngsters not to follow the path he once did.

“For every choice you make, there is a consequence,” Soto said. “I still have to struggle with the choices I made as a young kid. At 37, I’m still struggling.”

For the past five years, Soto has made frequent appearances throughout Orange County. Friday’s presentation was arranged by teacher Rose Boza.

“I thought joining a gang would be fun, that I would have a lot of friends and people would be scared of me,” Soto said. “What I did was make a lot of enemies.”

Santa Ana alone has about 60 gangs, Soto said, and as soon as a person joins one, he becomes an enemy to thousands of rivals.

“I didn’t know that,” he said. “I thought I’d get protection, but that’s the biggest lie. . . . The truth is that the gang life is a life of fear and loneliness. Your gang can’t be there for you always. You’re still alone. You walk the streets in fear.”

He warned children to avoid the appearance of gang involvement, such as baggy clothes and tattoos.

“A lot of kids think they’re too young to get shot, they think they can dress like a gang member or throw signs,” he said. “But it’s not a joke. Last year, there were about 60 murders in Santa Ana, and about 50 were gang related.

“Many of those people weren’t in a gang,” he said, “but they hung out with them and dressed like them, and those choices cost them their lives.”

At 27, Soto said, he was hooked on heroin and hit rock bottom. With the help of a relative, he joined a work-rehabilitation program in Northern California. He returned to Santa Ana in 1991, determined to make a difference.

After his speech, he was approached by several children who told how gang violence has touched their lives.

“I hope by my words and pictures, they get the message,” Soto said. “I try to show them their future if they make the wrong choices.”