A Toast to Roasts Past, Jams Ahead

And what is so rare as a day in June?

Then, if ever, come perfect days.

Then Heaven tries the earth if it be in tune,

And over it softly her warm ear lays.

--James Russell Lowell,

19th century American man of letters

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I wanna rock and roll all nite, and party every day.

--Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley,

20th century American gargoyles of rock

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If Heaven should softly cup its warm ear earthward over Irvine Meadows on Saturday evening, as Mr. Lowell imagined, it is in for a hell of a shock.

This day in June brings the Fourth Annual KROQ Weenie Roast and Sing-a-Long and, with it, a screeching, pyrotechnic rarity not seen or heard since another June evening in 1983: Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley fronting KISS, decked out in their long-discarded comic-book hero makeup and giving new meaning to that old Broadway title “The Roar of the Greasepaint.”

The second coming of KISS Kabuki--with original members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss joining perpetual stalwarts Simmons and Stanley for good measure--marks the biggest coup yet for the Weenie Roast, which is now solidly entrenched as Orange County’s splashiest annual rock ‘n’ roll bash.

For KROQ, the taste-making Los Angeles modern-rock station that uses the event to solidify listener loyalty, it’s a perfect June day to do good while doing well: The Weenie Roasts are benefits, with this year’s proceeds going to AIDS Project L.A., AIDS Walk Orange County and two environmental groups, Heal the Bay and the Surfrider Foundation.

For the bands--Saturday’s lineup also includes Everclear, Fugees, Garbage, Goldfinger, Korn, Lush, No Doubt, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, 311 and the Verve Pipe--it’s a chance to play to 15,000 people and remain in the good graces of the gods of KROQ, which has emerged as an important cog in the hit-making machinery of rock’s post-Nirvana “alternative” age.

For the fans, it’s a chance to sample a bevy of bands in a single nine-hour helping. (With this year’s Lollapalooza-copying inauguration of a second stage for emerging Southern California acts, the Weenie Roast expands to 16 bands in all, the 11 on the main stage, plus second-stagers Failure, Super 8, Unwritten Law, Voodoo Glow Skulls and Weapon of Choice.)

How hot is this Weenie dog? According to KROQ, tickets for the 1996 Roast sold out in 11 minutes. But have the shows lived up to the hoopla they generate? (Mark Twain once remarked that nothing promotes itself so shamelessly as a newspaper, but he never heard commercial radio.) Can a fan go to the Weenie Roast in reasonable expectation of enjoying that Perfect Day in June?

Unlike some folks, who figure the less they remember about a big bash, the better time they must have had, we’ve been staying alert and taking notes--literally--at every Weenie Roast. Here are some memories of the highlights, oddities and letdowns that the big show has served up to date.

June 12, 1993, Weenie I, or, ‘The Revenge of Depeche Mode’

In KROQ lore, it was St. Kurt of Seattle who came and slew, or at least defanged, the synth-pop dragon that had enslaved and benumbed the station for years. Lovers of meaty, rockin’ fare had to be nimble with the tuning button, because dialing KROQ before 1992 usually meant dodging all manner of noxious, synth-generated blips, beeps and buzzes and weightless singsong hack work in hopes of snaring the odd crunchy morsel of Social Distortion or Dramarama.

The First Annual KROQ Weenie Roast and Sing-a-Long, as it was confidently billed, confirmed the change, ditching all synths for guitars, guitars and more guitars. Unfortunately, balky sound mixes hampered many of the bands. Consequently, you could hardly hear any guitars during long stretches of Weenie I.

In a fitting touch, KROQ anointed X, the band chiefly responsible for sparking Southern California’s indigenous punk-alternative movement, as the day’s closing act. X came through with assured brawn, and singers Exene Cervenka and John Doe seemed so happy to play for a large, young audience that they refrained from cracking any Orange County Republican jokes.

The day’s big crowd fave was Stone Temple Pilots, which at the time were making their first move toward the Top 10 on the national albums chart. Singer Weiland (he wasn’t using his first name, Scott, in those days) comes from Huntington Beach, but he didn’t seem too pleased to be back on his old O.C. turf. He muttered something about the audience being too scrubbed, white and wealthy-looking for his tastes. The crowd was momentarily miffed but generally pleased by STP’s crisply rocking performance.

Other Good Memories: Terence Trent D’Arby winning an initially indifferent crowd with his soul-man dance moves; Rocket From the Crypt’s guitarists hammering like hard-working hard-hats on “Ditch Digger”; Bettie Serveert having the guts to play winsome ballads in broad daylight.

Life of the Party: A listless snooze of a performance from the Lemonheads, whose singer, Evan Dando, confessed that “I feel reserved for some reason. Imagine feeling reserved with all these people around.”

Hazards of Tobacco You Never Knew About: Dramarama’s John Easdale was tossing free smokes to people in the front rows during a rendition of “Last Cigarette” when he lost his bearings and walked right off the stage, taking a fall that was frightful but, luckily, not injurious.

Present and Accounted for: Gin Blossoms, Posies, Suede, the The.

June 11, 1994, Weenie II, or, ‘A Punk Coronation’

The Offspring and Green Day were just gaining momentum as they came into Weenie II; the rapturous reception the two catchy punk bands received was a signal that punk wasn’t just making a comeback but was turning into a pop phenomenon.

The Offspring bounced delightedly through their first big O.C. show (15,000 in the house being quite a step up from the 150 they had drawn in their previous home county appearance six months before).

Green Day’s singer, Billie Joe Armstrong, turned the Weenie Roast into his own Weenie Boast when he dropped his trousers and waggled his manhood at the crowd. Your correspondent can report no further details, having wandered off in search of supper after deciding halfway through Green Day’s set that Billie Joe was just a less interesting clone of Social Distortion’s Mike Ness, circa 1982.

Reigning over even the punk princes was the day’s incomparable queen, the Pretenders’ Chrissie Hynde, who gave Weenie Roasters an audience with a true star presence, as well as a sampling from a Hall of Fame repertoire.

Other Good Memories: Beck’s kid-in-a-sandbox playfulness; Pavement’s gamely hangdog approach; Oingo Boingo’s solid trouping.

Dubious Pleasures: Henry Rollins’ vein-bulging rants; Counting Crows’ Adam Duritz over-emoting his sobbing vocals until he sounded like a morose drunk who won’t go home; a subpar closing set by Violent Femmes.

Why Were They Even Invited? Candlebox.

Present and Accounted for: Afghan Wigs, Frente!, James.

June 17, 1995, Weenie III, or ‘All Eyes on Courtney’

A week after being hospitalized for a reported overdose of prescription drugs, Courtney Love returned to front Hole for a riveting set full of tears, humorous disdain (“I’m really weak, but I could still kick your ass,” she crustily warned one taunter) and all-around psychodrama.

Love and band held it together for a very solid exhibition of garage-punk musicianship, proving that there is more to Hole than soap opera.

Rage Against the Machine was in a prime lather for its first big-venue show after a long layoff, and Brit newcomers Elastica offered needed counterpoint with a zesty set built on those old verities, fun-loving energy and catchy tunes.

Other Good Memories: Solid showings from ‘80s alterna-rock vets Matthew Sweet, Throwing Muses and Soul Asylum; Rancid’s enthusiasm and group solidarity winning out over its tendencies toward Clashmania.

Leave It to Beavis (and Butt-head): Reprobate Rob Zombie, a fave of MTV’s sniggering cartoon nudniks, cavorted all over the amphitheater in an energetic display that won the Weenie masses. But as a walking cartoon himself, Zombie was of just passing interest to anybody not given to throwing heavy-metal devil salutes.

Old and Rusty: Punk godfathers the Ramones, the lineup’s alterna-roots heritage honoree, sounded murky and disjointed in their closing set.

New and Undistinguished: Bush (but the little girls understood), Sponge, Better Than Ezra.

Didn’t Anybody Ever Tell These Guys That Cocktail Hour Starts After the Gig?: Seemingly indifferent to the idea of performing for a big, home-turf crowd, the Long Beach band Sublime played it way too loose for comfort.

June 15, 1996

Still hoping for that perfect day in June.

* What: KROQ Weenie Roast.

* When: 2 p.m. Saturday.

* Where: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre, 8800 Irvine Center Drive, Irvine.

* Whereabouts: Exit the San Diego (405) Freeway at Irvine Center Drive, head west to the Irvine Meadows parking lot.

* Wherewithal: Sold out.

* Where to call: (714) 855-6111.