Gathering Up the Clan for a Successful Reunion

My doctor’s wife phoned the other day seeking travel help. She and he were planning a small family reunion and were looking for suggestions on where to hold it. For a fleeting second, I pondered whether this sort of professional consultation was billable. But my doctor is always available when I need after-hours medical advice. So I began asking the questions I needed answers to before I could make my diagnosis--that is, my recommendation.

The couple planned to invite their two children, their children’s spouses and their three preteen grandchildren, I learned, and they were looking for a family resort that could be reached easily from Washington, Ohio and New England. I mentally factored in the geography, took account of the wide age range of the participants and prescribed the fancy Hershey Resorts in the tidy little chocolate-scented town of Hershey, Pa. They took my advice, spent two nights in a family guest house at the Hershey Resorts and returned home with memories of a happy family gathering.

Increasingly, families whose members are scattered about the country are looking for places where they can gather for a few hours or a few days--both for fun and, perhaps more importantly, to strengthen family ties. One expert on the subject, Edith Wagner, publisher of Reunions magazine, figures that as many as 200,000 American families a year hold reunions, drawing an average attendance of about 50.

Planning a family reunion, particularly one that involves travel, can be time-consuming, and the task usually falls on one or two family members who, willing or not, accept the responsibility. But planners can also turn to the travel industry for help. San Diego’s stately old Hotel Del Coronado, for example, has just inaugurated a family reunion program headed by reunion specialist Alice Baumstark whose job, she says, is “to make sure that everyone--from Grandma and Grandpa down to the youngest family member--has the time of their lives.”

Baumstark, Wagner and other experts offer pointers on planning a successful family reunion. Among the challenges is picking a destination that nearly everyone agrees on--and can afford.

Often a larger family reunion, drawing 50 to 100 or more family members, takes on the trappings of a business conference, and there are lots of extras to include on the agenda, adds Paula Sheagley of Canon City, Colo., founder of the National Assn. of Reunion Managers.

Planners should consider scheduling family sports contests, such as golf, tennis or sand-castle building, and awarding prizes, she says. And they also might want to rent a hospitality suite as a central meeting place, arrange for a small dance band or other paid entertainment for the formal banquet, hire a professional photographer to snap formal and informal shots of the big event, or establish a “memorabilia room,” where old family photo albums are displayed.

Choosing a date and sticking to it is one of the most important steps in planning, say the experts. And the sooner, the better. For a big function, you may want to set the date a year or even two years in advance, Sheagley advises. This gives family members a chance to schedule vacation time and to begin saving money. To spark interest, send out a steady stream of brochures of the reunion site.

Picking the destination can be tricky, because you generally want a place that is convenient to reach and is affordable for everyone. At times, travel agent Bob Vaughn, who heads Sunflower Travel Consultants in Marlow Heights, Md., has had to mediate the destination choice between disputing family members. He advises reunion organizers to avoid dictating. “Be a good listener,” he says, “and you’ll get a lot of good ideas.” But narrow the possibilities down to two or three before you take a vote.

Vaughn, whose firm specializes in family reunions, often recommends a three- or four-day cruise. Because a short cruise can cost a family of five from $2,500 to $3,000, his firm often establishes a monthly payment plan to help ease the burden. Resorts are another good possibility because they can handle large groups and they come in a wide price range. One of Vaughn’s tasks, he says, is to help clients determine their budget.

The experts agree that it is common for more affluent family members to help the less affluent, such as young couples with children. Or a family member will pick up the tab for the band, the champagne, or one or more meals to reduce the cost for others. Sheagley notes that many retired people own recreational vehicles, which they may want to drive to a reunion to save money. If this is true of your family, then you will want to look for a resort with RV facilities.

And don’t overlook the power of nostalgia, reminds Wagner. Choosing a destination might be simply a matter of going back to “a favorite place we loved as kids” or to the place “where the settlers in the family landed.” When my two sisters and I (and our spouses) treated Mom and Dad to a three-day 50th-wedding anniversary trip, we picked New Orleans, a lively city that our parents had enjoyed enormously when my father was stationed nearby as a young Army lieutenant during World War II. It proved a special reunion because this was the only time we were ever together in the same place.

Sources of help when planning a family reunion include:

* Travel agents, who can assist in choosing a destination that is convenient and affordable.

* Hotel and resort reservation staffs, who can suggest dining and recreation options.

* Reunions magazine, which features articles on family reunion planning. For a sample copy, send $2 to the magazine at P.O. Box 11727, Milwaukee, WI 53211-0727.

Christopher Reynolds is on assignment.