Grand Ol’ Parties, If a Little Weird

Moses, drag queens and beer-imbibing roofers.

Turn a few thousand Republicans loose, add liquor and things can get decidedly weird. Here’s a whirlwind tour of this week’s GOP-OD’ed night life:

* Planet Hollywood at Horton Plaza has been a kind of Party Central for the convention--taken over by Republicans of all types: young ones, old ones, gun-loving ones, you name it. Monday night, it was the site of a bash for the Young Republican National Federation, hosted by NASDAQ. Still unanswered, therefore, is what Rep. Sonny Bono (R--Palm Something) and Wyoming Sen. Alan Simpson were doing there.

Youngsters at the party included actor Billy Baldwin and crasher extraordinaire George Stephanopoulos. “They both have really high hair,” said Jennifer Giglio, 23, a NASDAQ researcher who came from New York to help check in guests. “Not too cute.”

Simpson introduced a pseudo-’70s rock band that sported huge Afros, wide bell-bottoms and played such timeless tunes as “Shake Your Booty” and “Macho Man.” The songs provoked the (mostly) young margarita-guzzling conservatives to display what someone called “a particularly Caucasian form of dancing.”

Inside the restaurant, Young Republican officials introduced Rachel Campos, 24, who starred in MTV’s “The Real World” San Francisco household in 1994. Campos was notable for her politics--a conservative among liberals, a Republican who not only worked for Jack Kemp’s public policy and advocacy organization, Empower America, but actually dragged her roommates to the group’s conference once or twice.

“Kemp knows me,” Campos said. “I got him on MTV. And now he’s so important, I can’t even get in touch with him.”

Get in line, honey: Even Kemp’s Empower America co-founder, William Bennett, has joked about having trouble getting a call returned.

* Many Republican moderates and Democrats have complained that the GOP has been taken over by the religious right; thus it should come as no surprise that Moses put in an appearance at Planet Hollywood.

On Tuesday night, actor Charlton Heston hosted a party for his Arena political action committee. Outside, gun-control advocates noisily protested Heston’s well-known NRA sympathies. In keeping with the ultra-controlled environment of this convention, Heston did not permit working journalists inside the restaurant. So they were left to plug their ears in the courtyard, where the band announced it would turn up the volume to drown out the protesters.

“There’s a little war going on outside,” said the guitar player, “so we’re gonna put them in their place.”

Nice.

* A few blocks away, Dick’s Last Resort, home to restrooms with glow-in-the-dark condom machines, was the site of the much-anticipated Roofing Industry party. No free shingles for guests, but there was plenty of complimentary booze, barbecued victuals and the rare chance to mingle with members of the Polyisocyanurate Insulation Manufacturers Assn.

Take that, Planet Hollywood.

* Perhaps the strangest Republican-related (but not sponsored) event was the Miss GOP of America pageant in Hillcrest, the G-spot of San Diego’s gay community. Four drag queens--including a Cher impersonator, a faux Madonna and a self-described tobacco lobbyist named Velveeta Mozzarella--competed for the crown.

After lip-sync-and-dance routines, they answered questions from emcee Nicole, an aging cross-dresser decked out in poufy red wig, thigh-high white boots and star-spangled dress.

Who’s your favorite president?

“Lincoln,” said Velveeta. “Because he makes nice cars.”

What would you do if crowned Miss GOP?

“I would sneak into the convention,” said the fake Cher, “fool a delegate, marry him, help him get elected president and become the first drag queen first lady of America.”

Move over, Hillary. Cher, a.k.a. Chad Michaels, won.

* You have to toss a pretty good bash to impress a crowd of jaded journalists. On the eve of the GOP convention, San Diego press doyenne Helen Copley threw the mother of all media parties, a food-and-fireworks extravaganza catered by some of the most talented chefs in the state.

The food wizards said they came for one reason: Wolfgang Puck asked them to.

Puck sat for a moment next to his pizza booth and was besieged by adoring female fans who asked for autographs and photographs and generally said things they would surely regret in the morning.

Your pizza has changed my life?

Well, the wine was flowing rather freely.

* One of the tightest tickets in town was to a rhythm-and-blues fest and beer-swill put on by lobbyists for the tobacco industry. It was staged Tuesday at Croce’s Top Hat Bar and Grille in the Gaslamp Quarter, run by Ingrid Croce, widow of singer Jim Croce.

Yes, the lobbyists were smoking. And so was the band, the Mississippi Mudsharks. Lots of lawyers, fellow lobbyists and legislative staffers in attendance, but no legislators.

Too politically incorrect, maybe?

* Also on Tuesday, conventioneers were invited to an outdoor country party hosted by Georgia’s favorite son, Newt Gingrich. No one seemed to mind that the beer was warm, because entertainment was provided by country rocker Travis Tritt.

“The speaker of the House and I hail from the same part of the country,” Tritt said as he introduced his hit, “Here’s a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.”

“All I can say to you, Newt, is here’s a quarter. You can call me any time.”

* Other celebrations included Sea World’s Whale of a Party for antiabortion forces, a reporters’ bash aboard John Wayne’s old yacht (sponsored by the local chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists and a Native American tribe that owns a casino), a Republican senatorial committee clambake, and a Republic of Cuervo Gold convention--to elect a new president for a Caribbean island purchased by the tequila company.

The list of parties, official and otherwise, runs pages and pages.

“That’s what you come for,” said Cheryl Greiner, an alternate delegate from Iowa. “To anoint Bob Dole and to party.”

Or as one Democratic wag put it, “You haven’t lived until you see a puking Republican.”

* The GOP hasn’t really helped San Diego’s, uh, alternative night life scene.

Business has been dreadful at downtown’s Midnight Adult Books & Video Center--home of such cinematic masterworks as “Two Girls for Every Guy.” (so, whatever did happen to Jan and Dean? Oh, right, they played for a California delegation bash Sunday.)

And tattoo parlors have likewise been shunned.

Things were a little better at Dirty Dan’s Pure Platinum, a topless joint on Pacific Highway.

“We probably would’ve done better,” surmised the manager, “with Democrats.”

* Times staff writer Tony Perry contributed to this report.