WE BET SHE WOULD HAVE PREFERRED FLOWERS:...
WE BET SHE WOULD HAVE PREFERRED FLOWERS: Sherman Kappe of Cerritos saw this reminder at the bottom of a bill he received: “Don’t forget your sweetheart on 2-14-95.” The bill was from his exterminator.
SIGN O’ THE TIMES? The Joy of Learning, an educational bookshop in Tarzana, was replaced by a store selling comic books and toys.
HIS BODY OF WORK: The phone number on the side of Vidal Herrera’s van read (800) AUTOPSY and advertised a real business: private autopsies and the removal of organs for medical research, among other services.
Herrera shunned advertising at first. “But then I saw all the 800 ads on TV and thought, why not?” he said. “Business has gone up at least 50% since then.”
Not all the attention is positive. One restaurant made him move his van to a less visible parking space. Herrera explained: “They said it was in bad taste.”
ANYONE GOT A CALCULATOR? The California Society of Certified Public Accountants, in a monthly dues notice to members, listed fees of $50 plus $10, for a total of . . . $70.
PUNCH 1 TO REACH A ROACH: The counter sign at Letitia Mills’ repair shop in Mar Vista said: “Machines with cockroaches, minimum labor $55. Live or dead bugs.”
It was no joke. “They live in items that have heat, like answering machines left on 24 hours a day, fax machines, VCRs,” explained Mills. “If you open up an answering machine before lunch and find a family of roaches, you don’t want to eat.”
X-RATED FRUIT: Boston refused to accept shipments of navel oranges from L.A. at the turn of the century, terming the fruit’s name indelicate and immodest.
SIGNS TO SHOP BY: Seen in a Tarzana toy store window--”DIVORCE SALE--Wife has forced husband out of business.”
DUELING BUSINESSES: A beauty salon inside the Northridge Pistol and Rifle Range? “The owner wanted to be in a unique location,” explained Renee Saunders, manager of the Bang! Bang! salon. Besides, “when you’ve had some real crotchety customers, it’s a good way to blow off steam after work,” she said.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU: Travel writer Norm Sklarewitz of West Hollywood received a press release from SkyWest Airlines heralding company efforts to improve “communication and efficiency.” The next day, he received another copy of the press release. And another. And another. In all, he received 26 copies from thorough, if not always efficient, SkyWest.
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Upon obtaining a second fax machine in its L.A. office, Tony Stone Worldwide photo library sent out a press release announcing: “We are now bifaxual.”
