Noisemakers ready?No sooner is the Labor Day...

Noisemakers ready?

No sooner is the Labor Day weekend over and it’s time for another wild celebration. What--you didn’t forget whose birthday it is on Wednesday, did you? Shame. L.A. turns 215 years old.

Yes, it was on Sept. 4, 1781, that the first 44 residents set up housekeeping here. None of them could write, by the way. Which may explain why so many sitcoms originate in L.A.

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WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW? Exhibits at the weekend Invention Convention in Pasadena included a 360-degree TV, a musical skateboard and talking underwear.

Considering the number of people who don’t like to speak to anyone in the morning, we’re not sure talking underwear will be a hit. But we’ll suspend judgment. In the meantime, we’re still waiting for updates on past gizmos that have appeared at the convention, including:

* A solar hot dog cooker.

* A machine that enables one to exercise arms and legs while playing a video game.

* A neck brace for parakeets, cats and dogs.

And the talk of the 1993 convention--a battery built by a Hacienda Heights man who said it ran on urine. Maybe the Big Three auto makers have been conspiring against it.

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BEFORE THERE WAS TICKETMASTER: Music historian Jim Dawson writes that Elvis was still in high school when one of the first big rock concerts was held in L.A. on Oct. 6, 1951.

As Dawson recounts it, “2,000 mostly white and Chicano teenagers flocked to a midnight matinee . . . to groove and flip to the crazy sounds of local rhythm and blues musicians,” including the “wild honking saxo-maniac Big Jay McNeely.”

Also present was photographer Bob Willoughby.

Willoughby “captured some amazing tableaux of Big Jay lying on his back, blowing freak notes and driving young white hipsters into delirium,” writes Dawson, co-author of “What Was the First Rock ‘N’ Roll Record?”

The accompanying photo, which we’re publishing with Willoughby’s permission, has appeared on postcards, T-shirts and at the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

Site of the landmark concert? Oh, yes--that well-known rock arena, the Olympic Auditorium.

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LONG BEACH, WE LOVE YOU, MAN: A TV beer commercial touting the wonders of Southern California flashed the names of several locations, including Long Beach’s Belmont Shore. A real breakthrough for the region--except it was spelled “Bellmont” Shore.

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IMAGINE BART STEERING A SKATEBOARD: A USC study asserted a few years ago that some radio traffic reports “reinforce the aggressive driving subculture that exists in L.A.” by taking a “fun and games” approach.

KFWB obviously doesn’t buy that philosophy. The AM all-news station recently began introducing its traffic bulletins with the playful theme from “The Simpsons” TV show.

There are worse choices, though. KFWB also has an intro that consists of a rock musician crying, “Wipeout!” But that one precedes the station’s surf report.

miscelLAny:

Sal Lombardo found a seemingly contradictory restaurant sign in West L.A.. Actually, the Vikings Table was Scandinavian before it became a Chinese eatery. The current owners just kept the name. No, sweet-and-sour Swedish meatballs is not on the menu.