‘Tight Quarters’ Has an Awkward Fit

Something is terribly wrong when you would rather see more of the kooky crooks than the soon-to-be lovers. The main characters in “Tight Quarters” at the Tiffany Theater are simply dull, and certainly can’t drive this misshaped vehicle, manufactured with slipshod logic and overloaded with mostly forgettable tunes.

Based on Jeffrey and LeeAn Lantos and Jeffrey Levin’s looking-to-be-produced movie script, this musical (with music by Bill Augustine, lyrics by Jeffrey Lantos and book by the Lantoses) veers between being a slapstick crime caper, saccharine kiddie fare, screwball comedy and an ersatz version of “Romancing the Stone.”

In the middle of her wedding, Dr. Natalie Benson (Rio Hibler-Kerr) is deserted by her intended, business whiz Dirk (John Ganun), who dashes off to prevent a hostile takeover. The still-single Natalie goes on their Amazon honeymoon cruise alone, ending up in the same room as widower Harvey Benson (Reece Holland). A trio of jewel thieves (Tony Spinosa, James Michael Connor and Julianne Buescher) join the fray, attempting to recover a stolen necklace stashed in Natalie’s purse.

Director Glenn Kelman gamely attempts to make some sense of this mess with his vocally talented ensemble. Hibler-Kerr and Holland have beautiful, well-matched voices, but their scripted banter is witless. There are plenty of funny bits, mostly from the peripheral characters--the inept crooks led by the English-mangling Rochfort (Connor), the kleptomaniac (Ric Stoneback) and the laid-back captain (Gary Paul Clark).

* “Tight Quarters,” Tiffany Theater, 8532 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7 p.m. Ends Oct. 27. $23-$26. (310) 289-2999. Running time: 2 hours, 30 minutes.