UCLA Will Pay For This One

Delta Airlines was founded in Monroe, La., and the first Coca-Cola was bottled there, two pieces of trivia that will win you a bet anywhere in Atlanta.

Monroe is also the home of Northeast Louisiana University, which might win you a bet tonight in Pasadena, where the Indians come to call on UCLA at the Rose Bowl.

A partial score: Northeast Louisiana $250,000.

It’s the going rate these days for an “opponent,” somebody to stand on the other side of the ball for 60 minutes without seriously threatening the establishment.

The Indians are in their third season of Division I-A football, and they have been “opponents” for some of the best.

“Aw, shoot,” Coach Ed Zaunbrecher said. “We’ve had all kinds of good ones. Starting off my coaching career at Colorado wasn’t a real gem, I’ll promise you. Going into Auburn and going into Georgia and all those places.”

In a good-news, bad-news situation if ever there was one, Zaunbrecher was hired from Louisiana State, where he was the offensive coordinator, to be the Indians’ chief in their first season in Division I-A.

Then he was presented the schedule.

It began in 1994 at Colorado, a 48-13 pasting, followed in order by a 44-12 thumping at Auburn and a 70-6 thrashing by Georgia. Northeast Louisiana also found its way to Wyoming and a 28-14 loss, and to Brigham Young and a 24-10 defeat. Then, finally, at Kentucky, Northeast Louisiana scored its first victory over a team anybody outside the Confederacy knew anything about.

The victory over the Wildcats, Southeastern Conference doormats until basketball season begins, was cause for celebration in Monroe, as was one over Mississippi State last season. Bring on Louisiana State!

“I think the former athletic director [Benny Hollis, a former basketball coach] didn’t really understand,” Zaunbrecher said. “They said, ‘Schedule a I-A schedule, and you have to have at least seven I-A games,’ so he took whoever wanted to play.”

And pay. After expenses are deducted tonight, Northeast will net $160,000, nearly 10% of its football budget, which is about one-sixth of UCLA’s.

“We realized that we were going to have to play some games along this line, but we like to keep it to a minimum: two or three a year,” Zaunbrecher said. “We like to play more teams that have similar budgets to us.”

Uh, bring on Central Florida and Alabama Birmingham.

Northeast Louisiana is subbing for another UCLA opponent, Long Beach State, which dropped football. But the Indians can dream. Their media guide has a title: “Fulfill the Dream,” and quarterback Raymond Philyaw, who is close to pushing San Diego Charger Stan Humphries out of the school record book for passing, narrates his:

“Four seconds left in the third game of my senior year, and I drop back, roll to the left, back to the right and launch a bomb downfield for the game-winning touchdown at UCLA.”

Tackle Chad Reeder: “Returning a fumble for a touchdown in the last few seconds of the game as NLU beats UCLA.”

Tackle John Evans of Pasadena: “Jumping up, intercepting a middle screen and running it back 80 yards for a touchdown and pointing to the scoreboard in front of my family as time runs out at UCLA.”

Northeast’s dreams are Bruin Coach Bob Toledo’s nightmares, and he has made sure UCLA’s players have heard about them. And a few more things.

“I’m going to make them take it serious,” he said. “I reminded them about a lot of things. I reminded them some of the scores of last week, and I reminded them about playing Tennessee two years ago and then coming out flat against SMU and they almost beat us [in a 17-10 Bruin victory].”

It’s not as though UCLA has shown it’s a powerhouse. Its season opener, at Tennessee, had its moments, but one was not walking off the field and looking at the scoreboard. UCLA lost, 35-20.

Zaunbrecher came away from viewing Tennessee-UCLA video as impressed as he was depressed at watching Northeast’s 30-3 loss to Minnesota, played at the same time. The Indians struggled in their one victory, a 14-12 decision over Division I-AA Nicholls State.

“We try not to pay attention to who we’re playing, and sometimes I don’t want to show [the players] film of the people we’re playing,” he said. “I don’t want them to see too much of this Tennessee-UCLA game, but we have to for alignments and everything that’s going to be going on.”

Toledo’s team was an “opponent” when he coached at Pacific, and he turned in victories over South Carolina, Washington State, Hawaii and Iowa State in payday games.

“Actually, it’s really comfortable on that side because they’ve got nothing to lose,” he said. “It’s almost like us at Tennessee. Everybody thought we were going to get killed.”

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

NE LOUISIANA at UCLA

* Site: Rose Bowl

* Time: 7 p.m.

* TV: None live

* Radio: XTRA, KIEV