How Do You Rip Keyshawn for Being Keyshawn?

“Joe Theismann is the world’s biggest jerk.”

Keyshawn Johnson is just warming up. “The Mighty Mouth,” as the newspapers in New York are calling the former USC wide receiver, will make his first NFL start Sunday for the Jets against the Miami Dolphins, and ESPN “SportsCenter” highlights are almost a guarantee.

Last Sunday after catching a touchdown pass, Johnson nearly broke his neck trying to rip off his helmet for the cameras. After slamming his helmet to the ground, Johnson then danced the dance of a man who looked as if he had just won the lottery, before being tackled by his teammates.

A week earlier, the TV cameras caught him smiling and giving a thumbs-up on the sideline in the midst of a horrible Jet defeat.

“Just Keyshawn being Keyshawn,” Keyshawn said.

Some of the media, including Theismann, have taken exception to Johnson’s antics, which strikes another former USC player, Marcus Allen, quite odd.

“I’m all for individual expression, but sometimes it gets a little crazy because of the omnipresence of the TV cameras,” said Allen, who has scored 124 more touchdowns than Johnson to date. “It’s kind of funny, though, how we sort of despise the very thing we have created.”

The reporters want a lively quote. The weekend highlight packages feature the players who show the most emotion. The big-time endorsements go to the players who draw the most attention.

That’s what everybody wants, so why criticize it when you get it?

“All of a sudden I’m getting ridiculed,” Johnson said. “They paid me $17 million to bring some excitement here, I’m having some fun and Joe Theismann is ripping me. Joe Theismann is the world’s biggest jerk; he doesn’t even know the kid, doesn’t even sit down with him and do some research, but just ridicules.”

No further comment from Theismann, but Ronnie Lott, another former Trojan, talked to Johnson this week.

“He said to be just me, although he said my celebration was a bit much,” Johnson said. “Marcus Allen called too, but I haven’t gotten back to him.”

When Allen scores, he runs off the field with the ball still tucked under his arms.

“I’m just from the old school,” he said, but when was the last time the TV cameras dwelled on his performance. “Today some of it is really contrived because people are trying so hard to get on ‘SportsCenter.’ ”

He-Could-Go-All-The-Way, and that’s what it’s all about now, and why Johnson two games into his NFL career has already gobbled up the Big Apple. Although the Yankees are in a pennant race, Johnson has dominated the headlines with his demand to start over local Hofstra hero Wayne Chrebet. Johnson has six catches for 110 yards and a touchdown and successfully talked his way onto the field past Chrebet, who has 11 receptions for 113 yards.

“I take home the papers every night and just bust up laughing at all the things they are saying about me,” Johnson said. “Shoot, when I was coming here, everyone was saying the Jets needed a lively person, and now that I’m giving it to them it’s a bad thing. All Keyshawn wants to do is win, baby, and I don’t know when, but it’s coming.”

Although Johnson talks about himself in the third person, as if he would like an autograph from himself, he said the attention provides no added pressure.

“We all know how good I am, don’t we?” he said.

FOOTBALL-LESS IN L.A.

The final Los Angeles/Pasadena bid for a Super Bowl in 1999 or 2000 is due Oct. 11, but forget it.

There are reports surfacing that Miami has the 1999 Super Bowl, and if Tampa can demonstrate that it will have its new stadium built in time, it will get the 2000 Super Bowl.

Los Angeles/Pasadena submitted a very preliminary Super Bowl bid this past week, and will get preliminary feedback from the NFL on Sept. 24, but the message has already been delivered, off the record from league officials: Find some clarity in the Los Angeles market for a future franchise or don’t bother seeking a Super Bowl.

Although local politicians are scrambling to unite behind a new Coliseum plan, the NFL has not been convinced. This past week it delivered a list of more than a dozen “expectations” to Coliseum officials, which will challenge Los Angeles to justify its support for the Coliseum.

Los Angeles/Pasadena officials simply don’t have enough time. They had hoped to win a delay in the NFL’s decision to award the 2000 Super Bowl at the NFL owners’ meetings on Oct. 30-31 in New Orleans, but Commissioner Paul Tagliabue promised Tampa if a referendum passed to provide funding for a new stadium for the Buccaneers, the area would get a Super Bowl. The referendum passed.

IN QUOTATIONS

--In the aftermath of St. Louis Coach Rich Brooks’ decision to insert rookie quarterback Tony Banks into the San Francisco game at the Rams’ one-yard line, 49er defensive lineman Dana Stubblefield said, “You tend to think, what are those coaches over there doing?”

Banks was tackled for a safety two plays later.

“The decision turned out to be not a good one,” Brooks said.

--Detroit wide receiver Johnnie Morton is unhappy because he has been thrown only one pass this season. “They’re going to get a No. 84 jersey and put ‘Morton’ on the back,” said Morton, in mocking quarterback Scott Mitchell’s habit of looking for Herman Moore. “Maybe I should just steal Herman’s jersey before the game.”

--Philadelphia Coach Ray Rhodes, who coached cornerback Terrell Buckley at Green Bay before Buckley went on to Miami, said, “I feel I failed as a coach. He’s one of the few guys that I haven’t been able to reach. You get frustrated and [ticked] off because here’s a little guy who is cocky as all get-out and won’t listen to anybody, always has all the answers, and it’s really a sign of failure. I was mad at myself for not saving his career.”

Buckley leads the league with three interceptions.

--Regarding the Giants’ anemic offense, linebacker Jessie Armstead said, “Offense is like a girlfriend. You have to go with that offense. You have to dance with that offense. You’re not going to leave her after one bad date.”

EXTRA POINTS

--The last person to throw a touchdown pass for the 49ers was wide receiver Jerry Rice--on Christmas Eve last season. San Francisco quarterback Steve Young has thrown 187 passes without a touchdown--his last coming on Dec. 18.

--After his first 11 carries in the NFL, Houston running back Eddie George had lost six yards. “I needed to adjust to the speed of the game,” he said. Since then he has run 27 times and gained 199 yards.

HONOR ROLL

Robert Green, Chicago running back. The Bears haven’t been able to play Rashaan Salaam because of his sore knee, so they have given the ball to Green, who averaged 5.3 yards a carry last year--second best in the NFL among backs with at least 100 carries. Some would say Green’s average was inflated because he primarily played in nickel situations when the field was spread out by extra receivers. Green averaged 6.8 yards per carry in three- and four-receiver sets. But in two-receiver sets last year, Green still averaged 4.7 yards.

Over the last two years, Green actually has been a more effective back on early downs. His average per carry on first downs has been 4.9; on second down it’s 5.8 and on third down it’s 4.5.

Against Washington last week, Green rushed 19 times for 107 yards.

DETENTION

Trent Dilfer, Tampa Bay quarterback. He has six interceptions and no touchdowns. “I can’t snap my fingers and everything’s going to be better,” Dilfer said.

He can’t hit his receivers either. Dilfer, who threw four touchdown passes a year ago with 18 interceptions, has a quarterback rating of 17.6 this year. “I have to step up,” he said. “If I don’t, you won’t be talking to me. Other guys have to do the same thing. Or they’ll get some guys in here to do the job.”

TIME TO PUNT

--The Bears have scored one touchdown on offense, and that was on a trick play with wide receiver Curtis Conway throwing to running back Raymont Harris.

In their last six games, the Bears have thrown one interception for every touchdown pass. In their previous 12 games, the Bears threw one interception for every 18 touchdown passes. The Bears have given up 11 sacks in their last six games; they gave up only eight in their previous 12. And perhaps the most telling number of all: 29.2% of the Bears’ pass plays in their last six games have resulted in first downs. In their previous 12 games, 64.6% of their pass plays resulted in first downs.

--The Buccaneers, who have been dreadful, have now lost offensive tackle Paul Gruber (knee) and strong safety Todd Scott (Achilles’ tendon) on top of the earlier loss of wide receiver Horace Copeland and the holdout of running back Errict Rhett.

How bad is it? Team publicity director Chip Namias broke his foot while getting off the team bus at the Silverdome last week.

--Of the Giants’ last 18 offensive possessions, the team has punted 14 times, lost two interceptions and a fumble and lost the ball on downs.

--It just came to Coach Barry Switzer, but the Cowboys’ practice schedule now calls for work on the quarterback sneak. For the first time since 1990, the team has had quarterback Troy Aikman working on the play. “We’re going to put it in the playbook,” Switzer said, although Emmitt Smith scored 25 touchdowns a year ago.

Aikman has rushed for only five touchdowns in his seven-year career, the last coming on a two-yard run against Denver last September.