Scrubbing L.A.:No doubt you’ve heard about the...

Scrubbing L.A.:

No doubt you’ve heard about the researchers who observed people in public bathrooms in five cities to see who’s more responsible about washing their hands.

New Yorkers, as you might have guessed, need to clean up their acts. They finished far behind the citizens of Chicago, New Orleans, San Francisco and Atlanta when it came to good hygiene.

L.A. was not included in the poll, which is a shame. This town has had some of the country’s most famous hand washers. Howard Hughes, longtime resident of the Beverly Hills Hotel, was one. He bathed his pinkies several times a day (of course, he had those long fingernails to keep clean).

The champion in this category may have been mobster Mickey Cohen, who was said to wash his hands as often as 50 times a day. And this practice proved beneficial to his health.

In 1948, three gunsels, including Jimmy (The Weasel) Fratianno, walked into Cohen’s haberdashery on Sunset Boulevard and started shooting. One of Cohen’s bodyguards was killed.

But Cohen was inside his bathroom at the time, soaping up his hands. The Mick didn’t suffer a nick.

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IT’S STILL A FOUR-LETTER WORD: Anthony Satriano, 12, gave a “no-pass” grade to an L.A. auto garage’s spelling of the word smog and recommended the shop take advantage of its own “free recheck” policy.

Actually, if you study young Satriano’s photo, it looks as though someone had already marked the word incorrect with a check.

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REALLY, GOOD-LOOKING HAIR ISN’T THAT IMPORTANT . . . : Ben Warner of L.A. and Jeff Bowman of Burbank each spotted an ad from a merchant who offers a service that is unique--especially in the often cold business atmosphere of today (see excerpt).

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FOR PLANE DEPRESSION: Travel writer Norm Sklarewitz of West Hollywood received a press release from Qantas Airways, announcing that the company had hired an “aviation psychologist.” Sklarewitz’s reaction: “I can see it now--the aviation psychologist standing on the tarmac, asking a 727 jet, ‘When did you first notice you had this obsession to be a 747?’ ”

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VAL TALK: An announcer on ESPN said the other night, “MGM Pictures dares you to spend two days in the Valley.” The reference was to an upcoming “Pulp Fiction”-type movie, “Two Days in the Valley.” The San Gabriel Valley won’t be demanding equal time.

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ACCLIMATING: A friend of ours saw a Latina housekeeper walking down the street, balancing an item on her head. It was a bottle of Evian water.

Hey, it was the Westside.

miscelLAny:

Pat Boone, Mr. Conservative, the clean-cut Ivy League crooner who had numerous hits in the ‘50s and ‘60s, will perform heavy metal songs Saturday night at Pepperdine University. That’s right, heavy metal. His coming album, “Pat Boone in a Metal Mood,” includes his versions of “Smoke on the Water” by Deep Purple, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Alice Cooper and “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne. We’d rather spend two days in the Valley.