Take the Odds in This Series

Don’t you just love UCLA-USC week, from the bottom of your depth chart?

Listen to John McKay, who coached USC from 1960 to 1975: “I enjoyed our rivalry with UCLA very much . . . when we won.”

And this from Terry Donahue, who tanned himself on the sideline as UCLA coach for 20 years: “It was special and it was unique and it aged me considerably.”

So if you want great games, step right up because here they are. But that’s hardly all there is to the history of the USC-UCLA series, which is as complicated and suspenseful as trying to find a parking place on campus.

Actually, what we’ve got here is a 65-year tradition of blowouts, squeakers, highlights, lowlights and, yes, footlights that still shine on some pretty strange moments in the premier cross-town college football rivalry.

We remember the scores. Now, let us remember some of the other stuff, those memorable occasions when it seemed that the Bruins and the Trojans weren’t simply playing football, they were playing something else.

Oddball?

These are some of the miscellaneous moments you won’t find in your official USC-UCLA record books:

A DOG, A HELICOPTER AND AN RSVP

Before the 1943 game in November, some UCLA students dog-napped USC’s mascot mutt, named George Tirebiter. Thankfully, George was returned before kickoff, but he had “UCLA” shaved into his fur. It should be noted that this was long before such a concept really took off in new directions and cranial designs became so popular in sports. Anyway, some USC sorority sisters made a cardinal and gold sweater for George and he was saved canine embarrassment.

Pranks have long been a staple of this series, and they include a particularly noteworthy incident in 1958.

Some UCLA students rented a helicopter, loaded it with manure and tried to dump the load on the statue of Tommy Trojan. However, the chopper couldn’t fly low enough to do the job properly and when the smelly cargo was let loose, most of it was sucked right back up into the helicopter, covering the passengers. It was their own fault. They should have known it’s never good when the manure hits the rotors.

Then there was the time in 1975 when some USC students got their hands on some official UCLA stationary and printed up a notice that the Bruin pep rally was canceled. Donahue showed up in front of a smallish crowd--one for each letter in UCLA.

BETTER SUIT UP JENNY CRAIG

When Trojan defensive line coach Marv Goux studied UCLA game films as USC got ready for the 1981 duel, he thought he picked up something useful. UCLA’s blocking scheme for its kicks could be exploited, Goux was sure of it. He was just hoping for a chance to prove it.

And so it came to pass that the Bruins drove to the USC 29-yard line with four seconds left in the game at the Coliseum and USC ahead, 22-21. UCLA kicker Norm Johnson prepared for what would be a game-winning 46-yard field goal and Goux put his plan into action.

At the snap, George Achica, a 6-foot-5, 265-pound USC lineman, got through the line with ease and swatted away the ball.

Goux said he never doubted the outcome, but he did have one concern.

“The only thing I was worried about was whether I would get all our guys in there because their rears are so big,” he said.

LIGHTS! CAMERA! GATORADE!

All right, so John Barnes comes to the 1991 USC-UCLA game as a spectator using a borrowed student I.D., then makes UCLA the fifth school he has attended, walks on the football team in 1992 and passes for 385 yards and three touchdowns in a victory over USC.

Big deal, right? Then he gets a bit speaking part in the Tom Hanks movie “Forrest Gump.” Huge deal. Hey, we know what’s really big in popular culture.

It should be pointed out that Barnes is far from the first football player-actor who has appeared in the USC-UCLA series, which began in 1929, then went in front of the cameras. The first was . . . USC’s Ward Bond, who lettered in 1928-30, made bunches of films and starred as the trail boss on television’s “Wagon Train.”

Meanwhile, Bond’s ground-breaking counterpart at UCLA was Woody Strode, who lettered for the Bruins in 1937-39, then went on to a movie career that lasted five decades. Strode made his Hollywood debut in 1953 in “The City Beneath the Sea,” playing the role of Dijon.

Since he made 40 films, Strode could clearly cut the mustard in Hollywood.

Sadly, John Wayne never played in a USC-UCLA game. Wayne was known as Marion Morrison at USC when he was forced to cut short a promising football career after his freshman year in 1925.

Wayne was slated to be a backup right tackle on the varsity in 1926, but before the season, he dislocated his left shoulder in a body surfing accident while trying to impress some sorority girls at Balboa Beach.

Got it, Pilgrim?

FURTHER PROOF WE LIVE IN A DEMOCRACY

Before 103,303 at the Coliseum in 1939, UCLA and USC came into the game unbeaten and with the Rose Bowl on the line. With the great Jackie Robinson in the backfield, it looked as though the Bruins would be going to Pasadena when UCLA moved 78 yards to the USC three-yard line in the fourth quarter of a scoreless game.

But three plays gained only one yard. As UCLA went back into its huddle before the crucial fourth-down play, quarterback Ned Mathews knew what to do.

He called for a vote. Pass or run, what’ll it be, fellows?

Six players voted for a pass, five for a run. That was good enough for Matthews, who threw a pass into the flat that was knocked down by USC’s Bobby Robertson.

The game wound up 0-0--the last scoreless tie in the series--and USC wound up in the Rose Bowl, even though both teams finished the regular season unbeaten. But the 8-0-2 Trojans had fewer ties than the 6-0-4 Bruins. The Bruins still share the NCAA record for the most ties in one season.

Uh, wonder if Robinson voted for a pass?

FIND THAT SOUSA GUY AND GIVE HIM THE PLAY CHART

It was 1986 and Donahue was running a tight ship at UCLA, mainly because he couldn’t stand losing to USC. Why, he would sooner have a wrinkle in his pants or lose his styling brush than drop a game to the Trojans.

So when linebacker Ken Norton held an impromptu news conference one day the week before the game and announced something about USC that Donahue didn’t want known, the UCLA coach got very angry.

Norton’s comment: “Well, they’ve got a really good band. I think that’s what carries the school, the band.”

Norton was laughing, but Donahue was not when the stories came out the next day. Donahue was livid and claimed that the stories had just “robbed us of whatever advantage we might have had.”

Final score: UCLA 45, USC 25.

“Sure, it’s funny now, but it wasn’t very funny then,” Donahue said.

It probably depends on your perspective. Just stay loose. During USC-UCLA week, funny things are bound to happen.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

USC vs. UCLA

Saturday, Rose Bowl

Channel 7, 12:30 p.m.