The champs:Here they are, the winners in...

The champs:

Here they are, the winners in Only in L.A.’s 1996 Billboard, Market Marquee, Parking Lot Sign, Etc., Photo Competition. Our thanks to all the readers who sent us snapshots--even (or, should we say, especially) those that were too off-color to use.

HAIR EXTENSION OF THE YEAR: Adam Hagen of West Hollywood took a picturesque shot of a green-haired lass adorning a billboard for a perfume company. Or was she on a billboard for Rogaine? In any event, when the wind blows, we bet the model has a bad-fronds day.

TODAY’S VOCABULARY LESSON: Reminding us that we’re never too old to learn, Julie Mazur, Michael Rosen and Bob Perez each sent along a photo of a new word on a grocery store sign. It’s in West Los Angeles, which make explain why such a fancy term was used.

HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN? Actually, this sisterly warning sign stands at the entrance to Mt. St. Mary’s College in Brentwood. Considering the reputation of L.A. drivers, we bet angels still fear to tread there. As for the sisters, they may wish to cross themselves before crossing.

ATTENTION--TRAFFIC CONGESTION FANS: As if Southland parking lots aren’t chaotic enough, Jack Hallin of Monterey Park noticed a sign in one that seems to invite more trouble than usual. Question: If you refuse to block the lot, do you risk severe tire damage?

SCHOOL DAZE: When school resumed in September, Margie Brady spotted a marquee that seemed to contradict itself. Then again, there are always a few students who can’t remember whether they attended the school the previous year.

NEVER ON SUNDAY? Dave Tull of South Pasadena came upon a business that will apparently wish you well during daytime hours on Monday through Friday. But you have to call ahead to hear a kind word on Saturday. And on Sunday, niceness seems to take the day off.

HUGH’S WHO? Roger Beck visited a yard sale of someone who was evidently remodelating their house. The owners’ sign caused him to wonder which Hugh was on the block--Hefner? Downs? Grant? Actually, Hugh Grant was the one doing the buying when he was in town, as we recall.

TALK ABOUT BITING COMMENTARIES: Cheryl Kazel photographed a sign in front of her L.A. apartment that had been altered by a Cruella de Vil-type. “It used to say, ‘Please Curb Your Dog,”’ Kazel said. “It’s amazing what white-out can do.” Kazel added that the sign was later removed. “The Humane Society must have seen it and taken it down,” she said. “I don’t blame them.”

PLEASE TELL US THIS SKY ISN’T FALLING: Another one of those postcards that poke fun at L.A.? No, at least not intentionally. This card, sent to us by Charles Jeannel of L.A., advertised a program by local water agencies offering free low-flush toilets. It reminded us of the ad blurb from the flying saucer movie “Independence Day”: “Whatever you do, don’t look up.”