Some might prefer the scent of roses...
Some might prefer the scent of roses . . . :
The February calendar for the Knolls, an upscale apartment complex in Thousand Oaks, lists these events for Valentine’s Day:
“Come by the office for a sweet treat/lawn fertilizing.”
Stan Cowan, who brought the double celebration to our attention, theorized that perhaps management doesn’t want ardent lovers “to frolic on the grass” that day.
A WAY OUT FOR SOCIAL SECURITY? Forget about those other schemes for bailing out the Social Security system. How about privatization? Mary Rodriguez of Rancho Palos Verdes spotted a San Pedro branch displaying two “For Sale” signs.
YES, THERE ARE A FEW RENAISSANCE MEN LEFT: Dylan Presman came upon a flier from a handyman who listed his specialties as “small fix-it service . . . gardening (with your tools) . . . general cleanup . . . computer work . . . fliers, brochures, etc. . . . small claims court assistance--whether plaintiff or defendant, I can help prepare, file and serve your documents . . . also can assist in collection of judgments.”
We have a hunch he might also need your garden tools for the collection of those judgments.
THEY DIDN’T TELL TCHAIKOVSKY THE NEWS: KSCA-FM’s broadcast of 12 straight hours of a laugh track as it switched from rock to Spanish language the other day reminded Jim Elder of Calabasas of another strange transition.
A classical station in New York City that switched to rock didn’t make any friends among classical fans when the new owners chose, for their first song, something by Chuck Berry:
“Roll Over Beethoven.”
NO RHYME OR REASON: Ever since we innocently asked readers to find rhymes for Los Angeles, we feel as though we’ve become the moderator of a seminar on songwriting.
To review: We covered Los Angeles (banjo-less) in two weeks. This is Week 3 and we’re finishing up with orange, an important word since the fruit is identified with the Southland, even if it isn’t grown here much anymore.
A colleague tells us that Stephen Sondheim once observed you could rhyme a porringer with the phrase an orange or. (We notice that bum rhyme can be paired with Sondheim.)
Sheila Winston of North Hollywood adds: “In the late 1970s, early ‘80s, singer Tom Waits would occasionally baby-sit my son Jason, and we would have breakfast together at Duke’s at the Tropicana. Tom would always put rhyming challenges on the table. He came up with door hinge as a rhyme for orange. Jason came up with Dracula for spatula.”
HERE’S YOUR HOMEWORK: Rudi Nelson of Torrance also leaned toward door hinge as a “certainly better” rhyme for orange “than the two examples cited in your column [car range, Our Ang].”
Moving on, Nelson wants to devote Week 4 to a challenging word, month. “The closest I’ve heard (and really not acceptable),” Nelson continues, “is dunce and nth (as in, to the nth power).”
Month it is, although, since that’s Valentine’s Day week, we had planned on discussing rhymes for romance, not to mention fertilizing.
miscelLAny:
Brian Kirkwood sent along a Palm Springs restaurant ad that offers “All You Can Eat Through April 17 $10.95.” Kirkwood figures between now and April 17 he “can eat $75 worth of food there.”
