He Would Call Them Amazing if Pirates Win 60

How bad are the Pittsburgh Pirates?

Pretty bad, according to the city’s Associated Press baseball writer, Alan Robinson.

“They might be the first team in modern baseball history to consider the season a success by avoiding 100 losses,” Robinson wrote.

The Pirates’ owner, Kevin McClatchy, got rid of players with big salaries and is rebuilding.

Robinson wrote that the roster is “the majors’ most anonymous and, likely, its lowest-paid. The projected opening-day lineup made $1.5 million last season, or less than Albert Belle will earn in April.”

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Trivia time: Who said: “Yes sir, they were fairly amazing in several respects, and that’s the damned truth.”

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No pictures, please: Italian opera star Alessandro Bernardi had been scheduled to sing the Italian national anthem before Wednesday’s World Cup soccer match between Italy and England at London’s Wembley Stadium.

But that was before photographs appeared in a London tabloid showing Bernardi singing at a nightclub--without clothes. The Italian embassy protested, and Bernardi was dumped.

His explanation: “It is a terrible disappointment. I intended to do my best. . . . I would have been fully dressed for the occasion.”

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Thanks for the memories: Baltimore Raven owner Art Modell was talking to Steve Gutman, the New York Jets’ president, the other day. He said he couldn’t resist teasing the man who had named Bill Belichick his team’s coach . . . until Bill Parcells stepped in.

“I asked Steve if he planned to throw a retirement dinner for Belichick,” Modell said.

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Get it right: Twenty-two years ago, USC was beset with injuries at quarterback, and Coach John McKay prepared his fourth-stringer, Mike Sanford, to start against Washington.

One problem. McKay didn’t know his name.

When asked Monday of that game week who would start at quarterback, McKay stammered at first, then said: “Stafford will be our quarterback this week.”

Maybe McKay will remember “Stafford” when he sees him in a green sweater in South Bend next season. After eight years on USC’s staff, Sanford, 41, signed on as quarterback coach at Notre Dame on Thursday.

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By the way: Regarding the Briefing item this week about the three consecutive 300 games bowled by Jeremy Sonnenfeld, the American Bowling Congress officially recognizes him as the only one to achieve the feat.

In 1982, Glen Allison rolled a 900 in La Habra. But the ABC refused to certify his score, ruling the lane conditions were not up to standard.

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Trivia answer: Former Yankee manager Casey Stengel, at the 1974 Hall of Fame induction for two of his players, Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford.

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And finally: Spanish soccer star Borja Aguirretxu had a unique explanation for recently flunking a drug test.

He has been taking a hair-loss medication for a year, he explained.