OK, Howard, It’s Time to Put Up or . . .

Do you want to see Howard Stern’s private parts? No? Well, who can blame you. But how about Howard Stern’s “Private Parts,” the new movie based on his 1993 bestseller? Paramount Pictures has high hopes for the comic romp, which opens Friday and chronicles the shock jock’s rise to fame. Listeners have heard Stern, with characteristic immodesty, brag about the movie for months. He has also let it be known that he forced screenwriter Len Blum (“Stripes”) to do 20 drafts, a pretty brazen act of will for a radio personality with no proven record in movies. But positive early reviews could extend the film’s appeal far beyond Bensonhurst, lending credence to Stern’s claim to be “King of All Media” (well, he hasn’t conquered Broadway . . . yet). In the meantime, sophisticated filmgoers will probably recognize the true significance of the $20-million-plus “Private Parts,” as it marks the final screen appearance of the late Tiny Tim.

Giving It That Old College Try

David Schwimmer of “Friends” fame opens Tuesday in “d girl,” a one-act play at Century City Playhouse in which he plays a predatory screenwriter who sets his sights on a Hollywood “development girl.” Is Roger Kumble’s script in development for Hollywood itself? Kumble swears that he didn’t write the play with a screen version in mind, but said his agents began talking about selling screen rights after seeing a dress rehearsal last week. If it were to become a movie, he said, it would have to be on the relatively small scale of, say, David Mamet’s “Glengarry Glen Ross,” another play set in an office. Meanwhile, “d girl” reunites a group of Northwestern alumni--Kumble, Schwimmer and three other members of the production were students there from 1984 to 1988. It also casts Billy Crystal’s daughter, Jennifer Crystal, in the title role (she also attended Northwestern, but after the others had left). Schwimmer and seven other Northwestern alums founded Lookingglass Theater Company in Chicago in 1988; Schwimmer acted and directed for the company.

CBS Hopes ‘EZ’ Does It, This Time

“EZ Streets,” the most critically acclaimed TV series you probably haven’t seen, gets another crack at prime time’s mean streets beginning tonight. The crime drama, which stars Ken Olin, Joe Pantoliano and Jason Gedrick, was selected by TV critics as their favorite new series in a poll by trade magazine Electronic Media and will be featured in the Museum of Television & Radio’s annual TV festival this week--recognition extended to only one other first-year show, Fox’s “Millennium.” Despite all that, viewers voted thumbs down when the series premiered in October, and CBS pulled the show after two airings so as not to drag down ratings during the November sweeps. Now, four months later, “EZ Streets” returns with a preview in “Chicago Hope’s” 10 p.m. slot before settling in Wednesday, where CBS tried it before. Viewers of the drama (which like “NYPD Blue” carries a parental-discretion advisory) will be treated to a two-minute recap of the previous episodes. The museum tribute, meanwhile, is scheduled for Saturday. Not surprisingly, given that the show has barely been exposed to the public, seats are still available.

Has Industry Found What It’s Looking For?

U2’s “Pop,” the most anticipated album so far this year, arrives Tuesday and many in the record industry are wondering: Will the acclaimed Irish rock band lead consumers to the cash register? It’s a pressing concern because U.S. album sales as a whole have been flat for two years. U2’s 1987 album, the Grammy-winning “The Joshua Tree,” is one of the biggest-selling rock collections of all time--more than 15 million sold worldwide, including 10 million in the United States, according to the Recording Industry Assn. of America. But the group’s subsequent albums haven’t been able to match those figures. Its “Achtung Baby” in 1991 sold an estimated 10 million worldwide, including about 7 million in the United States, while 1993’s “Zooropa” sold 7 million worldwide, 2 million in this country. Unlike with “The Joshua Tree” and “Achtung Baby,” however, U2 did not mount a U.S. tour in support of “Zooropa.” The new album is being pushed not only by a mammoth tour--the “PopMart” trek starts April 25 in Las Vegas and includes a June 21 show at the Coliseum--but also an extensive marketing campaign that includes a prime-time ABC television special in May and strong support from MTV and VH1.