Stepping Out, Staying Safe

Here’s some advice on how to keep safe at nightclubs, offered by MARIBETH RODDEN of the Santa Monica Rape Treatment Center.

Go with friends. That way you can look out for each other.

Tell someone where you are going and who you are going with. If you feel you can’t tell your parents, tell another friend or a trusted adult. If something were to happen they would know where to look.

Be aware that men and women may interpret nonverbal behavior, including dress, differently. No matter what you are wearing, no one has the right to touch you if you do not want them to, but the issue still needs thinking about. Women say they dress a certain way because it looks good or it’s the way their friends are dressing. They want to be attractive yet stay in control of who they attract. Some men, on the other hand, often view provocative dress as a signal for sexual availability.

Stay aware of your surroundings. Stay sober, and don’t leave a drink unattended. Drugs and alcohol, especially if mixed, are likely to impair your judgment.

Communicate clearly. If someone touches you in a way you don’t like, be firm, say “No, I don’t like that!” and move away. Avoid giving mixed messages. For the guys, don’t take mixed messages as a “yes.”

Speak up. Don’t be afraid to make a scene or to call out for help if you are touched in a way you don’t like. Either confront the person or, if you are not comfortable with that, leave the floor and report the problem to a security guard. That will help the owner know who to look out for in the future.